My Stuffs

does anyone read this anymore? update on life

hey so this is going to be an unload of my shit so click outt now if you have a problem with reading my stuff. also message me if you are on right now.

okay.......

 so. May 27th was when my family burned everything i had from my girlfriend. yeah, i had a mental breakdown that night i'm still having nightmares from it. fire just engulfs my dreams and still wakes me up in tears. they burned her hoodie that she gave me, the necklace, and all of her notes and drawings that she had made for me. and they wont let me call her, text her or see her. they want to have nothing to do with us together, which just depresses the actual fuck outta me. and still they expect me to "come to them with my problems" and "talk to them". like what the fuck. i miss her beyond belief and i would anything to hear her voice and at least know that she's okay. my anxiety has been soo much worse since i haven't been able to talk to her.

so then that same day (may 27th) i had to start church camp and dont get me wrong i have nothing wrong with church because i am a Christian but honestly they made me go and you could imagine that i wasnt really up to it. so then that night i totally freaked out and relapsed at camp and the girl that knew  was one of best fren's , valleri. and to my surprise i let out everything to here, because i needed someone and my girl wasnt with me. valleri let me cry on her and she put band-aids on me, then wrapped me in her Dr. who blanket and sung me to sleep while cuddling me. i wished that valleri was (insert her name, my girlfriend's) that she could have been with me comforting but no matter how much i did. it just didnt happen. i was still in a small dark cabin, whilst freaking out, mentally and physically with no girlfriend in sight depressingly enough.  i could say more but i will probably freak out more because i have none to hug me and play with my hair, tell me i'm beautiful, let wear there hoodies..... just me depressing myself.

.......but enand telling jokes fough of me rehashing this to myself.

bai!! message if you feel like it i'll be up all night! currently i'm sitting in my fren's floor in my brother's (2x) button up plaid shirt, it's a dress on me and Pokemon  slippers. listening to the dear evan hansen soundtrack

nico and niners came out also jumpsuit and they are sooo amazing! i love them. tyjo and jishua are BACK!they are planning amazingly, beautiful very super greatly emo things for the clique.. ready?

"i'm flying blind and making up as i go"- anybody have a map

"quoting songs from our favorite bands and telling joke no else understands" -for forever

STAY ALIVE

- n a o  m i