It wasn't you

One

"Mr. Park, we found these letters in your home. We believe they were written by Y/n..... a suicide note. " The dark haired officer handed me a small stack of slightly crinkled papers, while I stared out the hospital window wondering how many stories it would take for me to fall off and die, but I would never do that. "thank you officer." I didn't bother to look at him. He knows I am hurting, he would be hurting too, if the person he loved most in this world tried to take their own life. "Again Mr. Park, im very sorry." I nodded my head slowly as he left the room. As I stared out the window I wondered to myself, why would she do this? Was it me? It had to be me. If i just would have taken time off and not do the world tour, maybe she wouldn't have tried to do this.
Maybe.

I turned around in my plastic, black chair to face her. I looked at her as my heart dropped. Her face pale, as if she faced death, which she did. Her long brown hair brushed down the sides of her shoulder looking dull, her thin chapped lips in a to straight line.

It hurt to look at her. This wasn't her. She was a bright, out going person, with shiny brown hair parted to the side, her lips being a smooth pink, as his own. Always smiling. Except no one was smiling today.

I was on the verge of tears, but I had no tears left to cry. I have been crying for the past four days. Four days of my hyungs trying to cheer me up telling me "everything is going to be okay " when they know absolutely nothing. They don't know if she will be okay.
I don't know if she will be okay.
I don't know why she did this.
I don't want to know why she did this.

But I need too. I just need too.

"I will love you Y/n. No matter what"
I spoke to her softly as i caressed her pale cheek. I stopped doing so and went to pick up the stack of papers.
I gently lifted them up and set them on the side of her bed as I sat on the more comfortable hospital chair, that is left for visitors. I prompted both of my elbows on the bed and picked up a paper with both my hands. I stared at her as I hesitentlt turned my head to read. I let go one hand and intwinded
Her fingers with my and held my breath.

I finally stared at the paper and read her delicate hand writing. The first words causing me to not take a breathe of relief, but a sudden pain to my heart leaving my mind hazed.

Jimin, it wasn't you.

To be continued...