Part of it was ARMY. I told you I was okay, when i wasn't. I was never okay. Who would be anyways?I know how you were when you were getting negative feedback, how you starved yourself, I was just more dramatic. I was risking me life in how I was coping. I was holding my breathe during commercials, seeing how long it would take for me to become unconscious, I started eating less, I started not looking both ways when crossed the street to walk. I stopped caring.
I'm sorry I stopped.
But I felt that I wasn't good enough. I know I was not good enough, but you still loved me. I could see it and it shocked me. It made me happy and warm. You were the only thing that made me feel like I was enough. But then the comments were getting worse in the days you had to work longer.
"You aren't good enough"
"she's fat"
"lifeless slob"
"is he an idiot?Did she pay him?"
"Go kill yourself"
"She is threatening his career"
I couldn't hurt you.
I'm sorry that I listened to them instead of ignoring what you said. But hundreds of thousands or maybe even millions of strangers telling me these things, compared to one person that told different, were winning. I'm sorry I let them win.
I'm so sorry Jimin. I'm so Fucking sorry.
YOU ARE READING
It wasn't you
FanfictionA short story on why a girl tried to take her own life, struggling to stay alive, leaving the one who loved her most confused and alone. "I finally stared at the paper and read her delicate hand writing. The first words causing me to not take a b...
