Starting Over Again (The story is under revision.)

Chapter 2 - Present Time 2014

Isobelle's POV

Waterfalls of memories...

Hay...sakit na ng mata ko kaka-basa nitong mga manuscripts na to. Not that I am complaining... This job became my....my what...ewan basta this job retained my sanity.  Hay naku Belle yan ka na naman...Stop it before you start to step 1 again...

Oo nga!!! Tama ka inner self...I have to move on...Naka move on na rin naman cya eh...So di na kailangan mag-emo moments pa...Sana lang kaya ko na talaga...Easier said than done... :(

Okay back to reality...I love my job. I am being paid big time to read stories and give my comments afterwards...Isn't it amazing? :) Like this one, the author's ideas were very raw, but it's moving me at the edge of my seat....Sarap basahin...ayaw kong bitawan...I am lucky to be one of the first people na nakabasa nito...So saan pa ko di ba??

Nica: Hoy Belle!!! Tulala.com na naman tayo...

Nagulat naman ako sa isang to... hehehe!!! Remember Nica? She's one of my college friends...parehas kaming Nursing student pero di kami naging nurse...hahaha!!! Kainis lang no...Maybe it's not our destiny talaga...

Honestly, I just pursued Nursing to please my parents...but I gave my all nung student ako...I got good grades, passed the Board Exam in just one take...pero ala talaga dun ang passion ko eh...Teaching and writing...yan ako...

Nica: Ewan ko sau!!! Txt me na lang pag tapos na ikaw sa trance mo ha...hahahaha!!!

Belle: Baliw!!! Trance agad!!! Baka focused lang....

Nica: Focused...??? Patingin nga... nasang page ka na???

Belle: Huh! Sa page...page 24... Actually, bago ka umepal nagbabasa na ako...

Nica: Hahaha!!!  Okee focused nga...250 pages yan Belle... Kahit ikaw pa pinakamagaling na editor dito, there's a time table to follow... Paano ka matatapos niyan...going back to step 1, are we???

Belle: Please Nics...not today...just let me be... 

At medyo napaseryoso ako.

Nica: Alrighty...  Just be real focused okay... Past is past, Belle. We all have to move on at hinding-hindi ako magsasawang i-remind sa iyo yan dahil kaibigan mo ako...  

Atsaka, we have to rush as per Mr. Monreal.  At alalahanin mo, your promotion is on the line so don't risk it... Nangyari na iyan dati di ba..."

Belle: Alam na alam ko iyan, Nics... No need to always remind me.

Nica: Belle, I know what you've been through. And until now kahit 'di mo sabihin, alam kong there's still pain... Pero you chose that, remember? You gave him up...

Belle: Ouch!!! Is that necessary??? Alam kong nagkamali ako sa puntong iyon pero kailangan pa bang ulit-ulitin mo, Nics???

Nica: (Napabuntung-hininga and in a more gentle tone) 'Sorry if I had to be blunt. Pero Belle, you can't live in the past.

Look at you... You never go out...Nasan na  yung outgoing and full of fun na friend ko...???  Yes, you were serious nung nag-aaral pa tayo but that's understandable dahil delubyo naman talaga yung panahon na iyon... But now, you're already a pro... Stable, rich and beautiful... Pero may love life? Wala!!!"

Belle: Bakit? Kapag zero ang love life, malaking issue na???

Nica: You know what I meant Belle. You were once a happy person. Make her come back, Belle. Bring back the happy you...

At napangiting-napaluha ako dun. Tama ang kaibigan ko. It's time to finally move on.

Belle: Yeah, you are right! Pasencya ka na... Medyo stressed lang ako sa promotion and all... Honestly, I don't want to lose it this time...

Nica: I know friend, I know... I believe you can do it...Ikaw pa, Ms. Smart!!! Hehehe!!! Sige na I'll go ahead. See you at lunch.

At umalis na siya. I felt hurt sa mga banat ng kaibigan ko... Parang she can easily judge me lang... Well, di ko naman siya.. sila masisi. I've been through hell before...

Kasama sila ng pamilya kong dumamay sa akin... Nagbangon sa akin... Nagalit sila Mama sa akin sa pagpapabayang ginawa ko sa sarili ko at sa katigasan ng ulo na sinarili lang ang mga problema.

I could have been stronger pero obviously hindi iyon ang nangyari...  I became too weak, too weak to realize na wala na siya. I made the shot, he took it and my heart was shattered into pieces... Sobrang sakit... Sobrang hirap...

"The happy me..." Kaya ko pa kayang ibalik ang dating Belle? Siguro kung babalik din ang taong naging dahilan kung bakit I was once a happy person... Pero malabo na iyon...

I don't believe in second chances... Marami nang nangyari... masasakit na salitang hindi na pwedeng mabura... mga pangakong nasira... Ayoko nang balikan pa... Masyado pang sariwa ang sugat... Pero kunsitidor lang talaga ang memory ko dahil parang waterfalls lang na patuloy ang pagbuhos ng mga alaala...