Short Story Collection

Emotions

This is something that isn't easy for me to talk about. I don't talk about this sort of stuff freely to just anyone, but I think that now, since this is a personal essay, and I can say just about anything about whatever I want, I finally will. My mom says that I am good at holding all of my emotions in. like they are in a bottle, and I only let them show when I am alone or with my mom. Sometimes things just get to me. Anything can set me off from stress to people and animals passing on. All this started right before I turned ten. About eight days before.

Since I was born, I had a dog. His name was Sid and he was a Golden Retriever. He was always known for lying next to my bed and stealing cookies from people. I loved him. But he was sick. When I was little, a tumor formed in his stomach. He could no longer walk the stairs, run, or do anything he used to. He was also very old. He was always heading in and out of the vet due to various sicknesses. By the time September of 2004 came, I was so happy that he would be around for when I turned ten that I started spreading the happy news.

But then that dreadful day happened. Sid would just sit there and watch my family and I as we lived on. And then, on September 9th, 2004, he wouldn't even move to eat, drink, or go outside. My parents called the vet to see if they could get him in so they could see what was wrong. I could tell my parents new something was up, and I could tell too. The next day, my parents took Sid off to the vet's office, and sent my sister and I off to one of our friend's house in Dennis. I hoped that Sid would come home as happy as a newborn puppy, but the atmosphere was gloomier. My parents came to pick us up, late at night and they seemed normal, so I thought Sid was OK. When we headed out to our car, I was ready to embrace him and not let him go, but when we got into the car, he was nowhere in site. At first I thought that he was just staying at the vet over night. When we got home, my theory was crushed. My dad called his parents, and my mom called hers. The both said the same thing; "Sid is gone." That was the first time I saw my dad cry. He cried all night, and then through the next morning. Life would never be the same without him. A few years later, we got another dog and named him Salty. We got another one and named him Brody. Salty is now four and Brody is nine months. Sid will always be in our hearts and both of our dogs are somehow related to him, so Sid's blood will always be in the Kumiega family.

In the beginning of 7th grade, I started riding horses in a little backyard barn in Orleans, right up the road from Charter. Right away, the people and the horses felt like my second family. Every week, I couldn't wait for school to get let out at 3:10 so I could go there. Out of all the horses, two of them were my favorite. Their names were Cinnamon and Bobby. Bobby was the first horse I ever rode and every time I was at the barn, he felt like he was mine. Cinnamon was a tiny pony, so the only things I could do with her was brush her and run her in circles. I spent most of my time with them. But on March 3rd 2008, something very unexpected happened.

All was well that morning, everyone was healthy and happy. But then towards noontime, everything went downhill. The noise stopped and everyone held their breaths. Cinni was lying on the ground, not moving. Just barely breathing. The owner noticed something happened so she went to go check. When she saw Cinni, she called the vet right away, but it was too late. By the time the vet got there, she was already gone. Later that week, I figured out that one of the horses died, but I didn't know who. When I went to the barn that Wednesday, I heard the sad news. Little Cinni died of colic. Colic is severe pains in the abdomen that will cause the horse to roll on the ground. This will lead them do death but I'm not really sure how. I held my pain in the whole time I was there, but once I was in my car, I just started crying and I couldn't stop.

Then, during Christmas break this year, while I was at grandma's house, something else sad at the barn happened. I found this next thing out in January when I next went. Bobby was gone. He was old. Maybe seventeen. I'm not really sure. But he lived in many places before he came to this barn. He was first a police horse, then he liven in Barnstable, then in a few more places before he ended up in Orleans. He was getting close to getting retired. My instructor told my mom to tell me because she couldn't bear to tell me in person because she knows how close to Bobby I am. My mom told me when I was in the car heading home. It was very hard for me to hear because he was the first horse I rode and he helped me win my first show I was in. He was the kind of horse any person would want. Laid back, kind, never bit, and he was good with everyone he met. Anyone would fall in love with him when they first saw him, and I did that exactly. Then one day, something very happy happened. My instructor, Micki, offered Bobby to me! That was a dream come true, but my mom said no because at the pace I was moving at, I would grow out of Bobby and plus everyone was going through hard times.

When 2009 was rolling closer and closer, I knew that Bobby didn't have much longer at the barn. When December came, I said goodbye to the barn until January. I hoped everyone would stay happy and healthy over that time. When I came back in January, there was a very big change. Bobby was missing. I asked my friend who I worked with what happened, and she told me he went back to his old owner in Barnstable. I cried that night, and I still get sad when I look at pictures of us and think back at those happy moments we had. A few weeks later, Micki e-mailed me and told me how I could contact Bobby's new owner to see of I could go see him. I was so happy. I have yet to go see him, but I am planning on seeing him very soon.

Not just sad things like deaths set off my emotions. Stress can also set off very quickly, or school. And sometimes, I don't know what sets me off. For 5th grade, both Brewster elementary schools got merged together. I didn't like this new setup because I was in class with only two or three friends. I went in with my only friends in homeroom being Jordan and Evyn. I think there might have been a few more, but I just don't remember. I remember my mom telling me that since I came home very upset from school on the last day when I should have been happy because it was now summer, that she was going to transfer me to I think Provincetown Elementary a few years later. I would have met people like Bella and Sam and Jesse earlier and would have been friends with them longer.

Also, end of the year crunch time always makes me very stressed out. This year has been the worst. The stress showed. All of my friends noticed a change. Also, I have just gone on and let out all of my emotions to my friends and parents. I've had to skip things due to this. For example I have missed some stuff at the barn and some softball. During one game, I had to leave because the teachers just started piling stuff up on us and I couldn't handle it anymore! I got home and just randomly cried and I didn't know why or how, I just did. I also stay up really late due to stress and I can't seem to fall asleep until around 10:30-11:00. I can't really figure out why some emotions are set off, but I can figure out most of them.

**Side Note**

When I first got this assignment, I didn't know what I was going to write about. I was also relieved because we were taking a break from the short stories and the thesis essays, and now I could write about what I wanted to write about. For the first few days, I was stumped. I went from family outings, to summer activities, to friends, and to a bunch of random stuff. But I ended up with my emotions. I started writing about emotions because I wanted to write something personal and I thought that emotions were very personal. While I was thinking of something to write, I thought about my old dog, Sid, and I thought that was something I could finally get down on paper. I just went on from there until I got to present day. During the duration that I was writing this, I had to take many breaks because since this was so personal, it brought back those dreadful days of sadness. I thought that since my topic was emotions, they would get to me and I wouldn't be able to write about some of them, but now that my feelings are on paper, I feel better about it. I almost let my emotions get to me while writing this essay because I had to add more things in to make this at least 1000 words, and I didn't know how to write this reflection piece. I was getting very stressed out. But in the end, I pulled through and managed to type up a 1772 word, six page, nine paragraph long essay (including the reflective piece) for me to hand in on Tuesday.

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This was my personal essay that I had to write in 8th grade. It took me a while to figure out what to write about, but then I got REALLY personal and this is one of the hardest things I've ever written. I'm just putting this out there, because the more I tell people about it, the better I will fear! So here you go!

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