Mr. Ghost (EN)

9. Day after

~~~ 5SOS - Ghost of you ~~~

           

~

What have I done? I pulled motionless Chelsea in my embrace up. I walked to her bed, putting her down carefully.

Then I started to panic. Why would I do something like that? Did the hope rid me of the last bits of the sanity? If I forget the part how daring my behaviour was towards her, I was completely out of mind. I was not thinking the moment she raised those blue eyes of hers up, she made me not think at all, especially when her eyes slid down my face, on my lips. The thought had crossed my mind. But it was not my right, it was not fair on her. She does all she can to help my absurd existence. What I did was shameful. She was probably in such a shock over my daring move, that she didn't even protest.

I thought about the possibility that she might change her mind now, when she found out he is an idiot. I must not ever do anything unspeakable like this. I stopped stomping around her room, my eyes landing on her unmoving body. She lost her unconsciousness thanks to the shock I gave her. It was bound to happen, she was spending way too much time in my presence. I was vessel containing energy that could not be explained. I drained her and I was in fault again.

I remembered how greatly she handled everything today. She was astonishing, although sometimes is hard for me to follow her changes of moods. She got upset because of something today and she might have though I didn't notice it. But she suddenly stopped smiling and weird serious look overtook her facial expression, although she always manage to put up calm mask, before meeting my eyes.

She was... different. Definitely unlike all the young ladies I used to be acquainted with. I walked back to the side of her bed, gazing at her. I saw similarities between her and Elizabeth, although they both had very diverse characters. Plus, there was something more disturbing about her actual aura. When I looked at Eliza, I saw her as the younger sister of my beloved. When I look at Chelsea, I feel something that I can't explain. I recalled the kiss we shared, my heart picking up on speed. No matter how bad I was, she tasted sweet, like sweet liquorice. The reason I was so taken back by that sensations, was because I haven't tasted anything at all for so many years. Kissing her was like waking up from dull dream.

I looked at her face again. Her golden hair was thrown around her head, which looked like halo. She was indeed an angel. I was itching to lean over and touch them, but I restrained myself. Reminder of what I did was still there.

I couldn't imagine how I will explain it to her tomorrow. I was thinking to go to hiding for a while, but I realised there is no use. We had a mission; big thing will be happening. I must focus on the goal. I can't get distracted. I shook my head and then disappeared.

~

I welcomed the morning with pained moan as I sat up. My body felt incredibly weak, almost alien, while my temples decided to thump in every damned beat of my heart. I was scared to move a muscle, not wanting to make myself suffer more.

The moment of realisation came right after. I widened my eyes, straitening my back, while the bedroom span around. I recalled the events of last night, after Liz left the house. My head was about to explode and shatter to the smallest bits. I threw myself back into the softness of my bedding, groaning as I remembered every second of what made me feel like a zombie today.

I couldn't even tell myself, that it was a dream, because I was not the one to be lying to myself, just for the sake of my inner peace. And I also could imagine that kiss very vividly. I was fantasying about him kissing me, many times... judge me. Then he did it and it was more than I could ever come up with my own poor brain. The wave of excitement rolled over me. I didn't understand why he did that. One thing was, that he kissed ne, another was the reason behind his actions. It would be different if it was me who initiated it, but...