Seeking Souls

2: Coping Mechanism

“Desmond!” Kara shouted from outside my bedroom window, it had been a year since the day she kicked a ball in my face. Seventh grade had swooped upon us and it felt great knowing that time was passing on by. Kara and I had begun hanging out a lot after the dodge ball incident. Today was her birthday however, and apparently, she couldn’t wait to show me her newest gift. I stepped to my window and looked at her through the glass. “Look what mom got me!” She held up a cell phone, her first cell phone. I was kind of amazed. I smiled, heading downstairs to open the door.

       “Wow that’s really cool!” She nodded, waving it around, showing it off. Now we can actually talk to each other whenever you get yourself grounded.” I laughed and she punched me in the arm.

       “Not funny!” She smiled the two of us going up to my bedroom after a quick brief wave to my parents. We plopped ourselves on my bed, she handed me my phone and allowed me to look it over. It was a pretty basic phone, good for texting. “I think I’m only going to give you my number.”

       “Why?” I looked over at her; she snatched the phone out my hands and stuck her tongue out at me.

       “So I can make my voicemail something personal, just to annoy you!” She dialed a number and put the phone up to her ear. “No hush, I’m going to make the voicemail now.”

Present Day~ Two Weeks after the Lake Incident

       I said hush Desmond! Anyway, if you’re listening to this that means I either couldn’t run to my phone fast enough, or you did something stupid and I’m mad at you. Leave me a message Mr. Sins and I might get back to you.

       I heard the beep go off after her message and I just sat there, on the floor of my room thinking to myself exactly how things had turned out this way. I shook my head violently, tossing my phone across the room.

       I ran a nervous hand through my hair and got up to my feet, I needed to take it easy. Her funeral was last week, and I had barely kept it together at it, and now I was just stuck. It was like I couldn’t move any further. I had to focus however, had to keep my head on straight. Maybe going back to school today would help me in some way? I took one look at my clock to see how early it was and realized that going back to school would not help me. At all.

~~~~~~~

       Time had just about come to a halt as I walked the halls of my high school. Kara and I were supposed to graduate together, and just about everyone knew it. The news of her death and hit everyone’s ear drums fast. They all knew her, knew our friendship and how when we were together, no one else could ever break our conversations about the stupidest stuff. The looks people gave me as I walked through the halls for the first time since her death had frightened me. Did they think I was some mental case now?

       I had to fight back the tears, the lump in my throat as I passed her locker. Every morning I’d meet her there to have our normal conversation about how we rushed to the bus stop. This was killing me inside; I had to find a way to cope, a way to pull my fucking mind together. “Desmond!” My jaw clenched, I knew that voice. It was Chris, Kara’s most recent ex-boyfriend. He came up from behind me, reaching out. “Hey man, listen, I’m sorry about Ka-” He put his hand on my shoulder and I didn’t even think twice. I turned around, my fist connecting to his jaw.

       Everyone in the hallway had stopped talking, stopped moving, and just watched as I looked down at Chris. I had knocked him flat, my hand aching from the swing. My anger filled eyes finally calmed down once I realized what I had just done. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, walking past him, past everyone and moving along. I walked past some girl, bumping shoulders with her, my book bag slipping off from my shoulders but I didn’t care. I needed fresh air. As far as coping mechanism goes, that was not the best one to take.