The college roomate (Sherlock/Johnlock/fluff)

Chapter 23

Hey guys, before we start this chapter, I want to let you guys know that I wont be able to update for about a week, because I'm going to camp! There will be one more chapter tonight (Hopefully!), and that'll be the last one for now! :) Thanks guys!
-Lydia

 John regretted everything. He regretted going to college and meeting Sherlock. He regretted trying to make conversation with him that first day. He regretted that Sherlock chose him, over everyone else. He regreated falling in love with Sherlock. 

"Johnny boy, are you coming in for dinner?" James Moriarty asked, poking his head out the window to where John was sitting on a fire escape. "Um, yes, James, Ill be in in a second." He said, smiling. Moriarty grinned at John the sick smile that me Johns heart crawl. He climbed through the window and sat next to John. "Whats wrong?" He asked, leaning his head on Johns shoulder. John didn't answer, but looked at Moriarty. God, this man made John feel physically sick. He hated to love him, more than James loved to hate him. Nothing has changed, and nothing will.

John knew his situation, but didn't do anything to help it. Why? Because he loved James, but not a normal love. James hurt John, and John liked it. He liked the way it felt. It made him feel alive. And that was a way Sherlock could never make John feel.

John loved Sherlock, yes, but he didn't love him enough. Sherlock desevered better than John, and John knew that. "I'm fine, lets go eat." John said, kiss him on the forehead. James got up and climbed through the window first, John following. They sat in the kitchen, silently eating, when James got a phone call.

"What?" He asked bluntly, rolling his eyes.
" What!? You better not be lying, Seb!" He yelled, making John jump in his seat.
"Fine, I'll see you soon." Moriarty said, hanging up. "Sherlock Holmes is on his way to this house, right now with his very powerful brother. Care to explain, John?" Moriarty shot, standing up.
"What? Do you think I told him where I was?" John asked, shrinking in his seat. 
"Well, who else would?"
"I dont know, maybe he figured it out for himself!" John said, sitting up straighter. 
"Get up, we are leaving, Now." Moriarty commanded, walking away. John jumped out of his seat and followed him, keeping his head down. They were half way out the front down when a car pulled up, and out jumped Sherlock Holmes, a look of fear flooding his face. "John!" He said, walking towards him. "Sherlock." John breathed out, silently rejoicing. "Get in the fucking car, John. Now." Moriarty demeaned, pushing him towards the car. John stood there, staring at Sherlock. 

"Leave him alone, James." Sherlock spat, examining James. "So this is Sherlock Holmes, the one who stole MY John Watson." Moriarty said, laughing. "He wasn't your anything. He still isn't. I found the note you left, John. I'm sorry." Sherlock said, moving closer to John. "What the hell is he talking about, John?" 
"Sherlock, I'm sorry." John muttered loud enough for them to hear.
"John, I will always forgive you. Come home so we can talk about it." Sherlock begged. John looked at Moriarty who stared back, squinting. "James, please, just let me go." John said, grabbing his hand. "John, I cant do that." Moriarty said, pushing John towards the car even more. "Well, I guess I'll have to get out myself." John grunted, kicking his leg back into Moriarty's groin. "I'm sorry, James." John whispered to him as he ran towards the car. 
He got in and Sherlock followed, and the car speed off.

"John, are you okay?" Sherlock asked, looking at John with great care. "Why would you care?" John spat at Sherlock. "Shut up, John. We'll fight when we get home. Are you okay?" Sherlock asked one more time. "I'm fine." John whispered, looking out his window. "Good." Sherlock replied, anger still in his eyes. 

They got home shortly afterwards, John following Sherlock quickly. Sherlock walked into the living room, and spun around to face John quickly. 
"Say it."
"I'm sorry."
"I don't care."
"Now you say it."
"Say what?"
"Say that you don't want to be with me anymore. Say that you dont want to be the person always there when I need you because my life goes to hell, Sherlock. Say you don't love me anymore. I've heard it enough." John said, whipping his face.
"I'm not going to lie to you, John."
John looked at him in shock. "What do you mean?" 
"I cant simply stop loving you."
That's when John lost everything. His eyes opened the flood gates, his heart started beating one million times faster, he feel to his knees and screamed apologizes. 
"I'm so sorry! God, how could I be so stupid? So blind? I'm so, so sorry!" He sobbed into the ground, his world falling apart. 
Sherlock sat there and stared at John, unsure what to do. He got close to John and placed a hand on his back. "Its gonna be okay, John. Everything is gonna be okay." Sherlock mumbled. John threw himself into Sherlocks arms, shaking. "No, it's not! You'll never truly forgive me, will you? I left you for someone else, and you didn't deserve that. I don't know what to do." John yelled into Sherlock chest, pounding into his chest. 

"Shh, John. I'll always love you, no matter what you do. I'm sorry I let you walk out, I'm sorry." Sherlock said, holding him.

"I need help." John whispered once he calmed down. "I'll help you, I'll always help you." Sherlock whispered back, curling up to John. "Sherlock, I'm sorry."
"I don't care." Sherlock whispered. 
"Promise me something, John."
"Anything."
"Never leave me again like that. Ever."
"I promise Sherlock."