Holding Back

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

So at this point I don't exactly know where me and jack stand at this point. I mean we were together but at the same time we weren't.

It was nothing official.

I was bumped out because prom was coming close and that meant jack was graduating. I knew the day was coming but it just came by so fast.

I knew he would be doing a bunch of things and touring and I would be back in Omaha alone.

It was the middle of the week and I walked to my locker. I started getting things out when Sam popped up.

"Hey." He said.

"Oh hey."

Things were kind of awkward between us but I guess we both ignored it anyway.

He looked down and then scratches the back of his neck.

"So um my friend is throwing a party this weekend... It would be real cool if you could be there." He said awkwardly.

I didn't really want to go because I knew only seniors would be there... But Jack might be there so I would think about it.

"I'll think about it." I say closing my locker.

"You um look really pretty today." He said.

"Thanks Sam." I said looking up to his eyes. They were hazel-green-brownish.

He started leaning in to try and kiss me and I backed away. "Sam stop. You know me and jack-"

"You and jack what? Are you dating? No..."

"Well I like him so you're gonna have to deal with it."

"How's that even fair?"

"Well Sam life's not fair." I said marching away from him to go to my next class.

Sometimes He was a bit to much to handle.

After all my classes I start making my way home.

I hadn't talked to Jack. I don't know maybe a little distance was good for us?

I don't know we only talk sometimes.

I miss having long deep conversations with him while laying in his arms. And having sweet moments but I need to be away.

He's gonna be gone for a long ass time and if I get to attached I'll end up heart broken.

I sit on my porch and write.

Today was a nice day so I just sat out there and wrote.

"Hey Quinn." I look up to see Jack running up to me and then sitting on the porch.

"Hey what's up?" I say closing my book.

"Oh your back at it I see?" He says looking at my diary.

"Haha yeah. What's up with you though?"

"Sam is upset again...."

"Really? What a surprise."

"Do you know why?" Jack asked.

"No and I don't care."

"Well he told me to ask you."

"Look Sam needs to deal with the fact that everything isn't gonna go his way... And why do you care so much about me and Sam. I want things to be about me and you for once."

He bit his lip and searched through his thoughts.

"I know... He's just my friend. And things are about us." He said taking my hand and placing it in mine and looked at me with his deep brown eyes. "I just don't want to hurt you again." He finished.

"You won't hurt me Jack." I whispered.

"I don't want to go through what happened already."

"Me either. It just sucks you going."

"I know. I don't regret meeting you b-but I wish that I wouldn't have to leave you." He said softly.

My heart melted. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest and let go. I just let go all of my emotions for once.

"I love you." He said soft.

I could barely get my words out with all of the sobs. "I-I love you to... I have to go." I said grabbing my book and rushing in my house.

I closed the door and leaned against it with tears falling out of my eyes. I slowly glided down to the floor and stayed there sobbing with my book next to me.

I eventually went back upstairs.

The next day I still didn't talk to Jack. So I decided to go to lunch and talk to Johnson before he actually sat down. I stepped in line next to him.

"Hey JJ ." I say wrapping my arm around him and hugged him.

"Hey Quinn." He said grabbing an apple.

"So proms coming soon." I started.

"Yeah guess who got a date." He said smirking at me.

"Omg Johnson who's the lucky girl?" I asked.

"Mallory..." He said grinning.

"Wow that's awesome. I can't believe she said yes!"

"Well ya know." He said as we moved down the line.

"No why did she say yes." We looked at eachother and then we laughed.

We made it to the end of class and started walking with him.

"So who's Jack going with?"

"Uh I dunno. I don't even know if he's going."

"What why?" I got confused.

"I don't really know..."

I just acted like I didn't care and changed the subject. "So Um are you guys going the party Friday?" I asked

"Oh yeah definitely."

"Cool I might go to. But I gotta go now."

"Okay see you later Quinn."

I left at that and walked out of the room.

I rushed to the library when I saw Sam at his locker. He seemed really upset and I didn't want him like that anymore.

"Sam." I said walking up to him."I'm sorry... About everything... I was to harsh."

It never really sunk in that Sam had a crush on me. I never really did focus on it because I was so focused on Jack.

"No I came on to strong."

"I just don't want to argue anymore I want to be cool with you." I stated.

"Me too."

There was an awkward silence.

"Well i guess I'll see you at the party." He spoke up.

"Yeah." I said and smiled and walked away.

I walked home and wrote in my diary.

My heart needed Jack.

🙌💘🙌💘🙌💘🙌💘🙌💘

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