Waiting For Nothing

Chapter 12: Grow A Backbone

Chapter 12: Grow A Backbone

You know you've been living in the clouds when a simple sentence sends you crashing to the ground without any way to break your fall. When you crash into the ground, reality begins to settle around you. You want to get up and move forward, but your body won't listen to you. Instead you sit there listening to the lies that have been fed to you and the place that you once called 'home' is nothing but an empty building.

My mom reached forward grasping the coffee mug that sat on the table steaming and took a sip out of it. She clasped her hands around it, resting it in her lap as she gazed at me with a burning hate. Sitting next to her with a remorseful look on his face, my dad looked worn out as he looked back at me with empty, hollow eyes.

Taking my eyes away from them as my mother cleared her throat, I focused on the window that shown the peaceful world outside of this disastrous place that we called home.

"We need you to move out." My heart beat picked up as soon as the words left her mouth. The decision sounded so sure and my dad didn't bother speaking up on my half.

He had truly given up; not only on me, but on everything. Even though the words stung, they only increased the hole in my heart that had been caused by Chase.

Without giving them the reaction they wanted, I stood up briskly and nodded my head in understanding. My mother smiled at me in triumph and I felt ashamed of myself. All my life I had believed that she loved me with all of her heart, when in reality she was waiting until I was old enough to take care of myself before she decided to throw me out into the streets.

"Please go upstairs and pack your belongings. Remember Leah, things like the dresser, television, bed, those belong to us. Not you." My dad cleared his throat signaling that she had left something out. Gritting her teeth with a forced smile, she watched me as I made my way towards the stairs. "Your father and I have agreed to sign over the ownership of your truck to you. But that's it."

For once in this shit hole of a life, I didn't want to put up a fight like I had always. If I did, it would only end with something brutal and bloody.

With a heart hammering in my chest, I made my last walk up the stairs that I had walked up and down on for years. My hand ran against the railing at an attempt to withhold a memory of something worth remembering.

After two hours, I had all of my belonging packed away in the bed of my truck. I wasn't a person with a lot of bags that I could store things in, so the bags that were there contained my clothes so that they wouldn't get dirty. Everything was tucked away neatly. To my surprise, I realized that I didn't have a lot of belongings.

My parents didn't hesitate once to close the door in my face once I had turned on my heel after telling them goodbye. My mother looked like she had just won the lottery while my dad looked broken beyond repair.

The driver's door creaked open as my hands held onto the door handle tightly. Emotions were churning in my chest causing me to drop my hold from the door and grasp at my chest in hurt. I felt anger, sorrow and most of all betrayal. There's nothing that can express the hurt when your own family is tired of seeing your face and hearing your voice so they resort to the last option to kick you out.

For some reason a voice screamed at me to not leave things like this. Slamming the door shut with strength that I thought had died down, I walked around my truck and up the walkway towards the front door with my shoulders squared and my head held up high. I knocked three times on the door before it finally opened. My mother and father's surprised faces greeted my anger-filled one.

Before either one of them could speak up, I felt myself letting loose all the words I had held back during every fight. "I'm not sorry that I'm leaving. I'm not sorry that I've ruined this household, which I haven't. You two are trying to put your failing marriage on my shoulders and make it seem like I was that problem child that caused everything. I came back here to help you two; the two people that are supposed to love me unconditionally. Instead of treating me like a daughter, you regarded me as a rebound for all of your problems, like I was a punching bag for you to release all of your anger on.

"Never once did you ever stick up for me, Dad. You are my father; you're supposed to protect me from the big bad wolf. I don't care that this...this bitch isn't my real mother! I cared and loved her like she was the one who gave birth to me. Before you even dare cut me off from talking, I just want you two to know that you are ruining yourselves. No one else is to blame." Both of them were gaping at me with wide eyes as I marched away from the door.

My mother began sputtering curse words at my retreating figure, but I ignored her and continued walking until I reached my truck. Hopping inside, I started it up and drove away from the house that had ruined my life.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

I decided to return to Sal's house and before I could even open her door, she was holding me tightly in a hug. Hesitating, I slowly returned the hug, but found myself hugging her just as tightly while the silent tears rolled down my face.

Leaning back, she wiped the tears away and smiled at me lightly. I laughed at my pitiful self causing Sal to frown at me in return. "I'm so broken." I muttered. Sal enveloped me in a hug again as I cried into her shirt.

After we had unpacked everything from my truck and into the room I was staying in, we sat next to each other on her black leather couch sipping on a cup of hot cocoa. The house was silent, but it was comforting.

"I take it that it didn't go well?" I nodded at her and she chuckled without humor.

"Honey, I'm going to be honest with you. When you walked into my diner that afternoon, I knew that you were someone who had walls built of steel around her heart. You looked like you needed someone and that's when I offered you the job. I gave you that test with your writing to see if you still had a fighting heart in you, which you did.

"I remember when I opened up my door to find you standing there. You looked so...empty; no sadness or anger. You were completely shattered. I knew I wanted to take care of you like my own blood because you obviously didn't have anyone else to do that for you. Leah, you grew up too fast. You faced the world way too soon. I always half-hoped that you would be a teenager and request a day off just to go to a party or something.

"Obviously that never happened. Once you asked if you could stay here, for some reason I felt like you wouldn't be leaving for a while." Sal reached over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer for a hug.

"I need you to know that you can live with me for however long you want. I won't take no for an answer." I hugged her tightly, thanking her in between sobs.

For once in my depressing and forever downward spiraling life, I finally felt like I was able to push myself off of the ground that I had been trapped on.