Special

Just A Habit

Picture is Xavier

I woke up in the morning laying on the couch. I guess Xavier didn't carry me upstairs this time. I got up and walked upstairs to my room only to find it empty. Xavier wasn't there but it was clean. The bed was made and you wouldn't find a speck of dust anywhere. There was a note on the bed and I picked it up and read it. It said: Dear Kyle, I went to work and normally I would have my mom watch Alex but I figured you'd want to. He has soccer practice at 5 o'clock and I usually give him ice cream afterwards. When he wakes up he'll probably want SPECIFICALLY blueberry pancakes. I hope you guys have fun, you need to get to know him. I love you so much baby, xoxo Xavier.

I laughed at the fact that he put xoxo at the end and sat the note back on the bed. I walked around the room taking it in and reminiscing as I looked at the pictures of Alex and Xavier. I was glad there were no pictures of Tyler in here. I opened the closet and all of my clothes and pictures of Xavier and I were still there as well as pictures of Alex. "so you're my real mom" I jumped at the sudden voice behind me. "you scared the shit out of me" I said with my hand on my chest above my fast beating heart. He just laughed and sat down on the bed.

He was so cute and adorable. "what's your name again? Kyle?" he asked. "yeah, you can call me that....if you want to" I said not trying to put pressure on him. He picked the note up and read it. "my dad really loves you" he said softly. I just shook my head and looked at the floor. "so, I'm gonna go make those pancakes while you do your girl stuff up here k?" and as he said that he jumped off the bed and winked at me. Did my own son really just wink at me? Xavier was rubbing off on him. I hope he won't grow up to be a player. He was about to walk out but stopped and turned around. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist resting his head on my chest. He was almost my height and I was only 5'3.

I didn't mind and I wrapped my arms around him resting my head on his. He pulled away too quickly and walked out of the room. I wanted to hug him a little longer. I started to smile and looked for clothes to wear. I went into the bathroom and as I got undressed my stomach began to hurt and I vomited into the toilet. I was probably beginning my period for this month. I rinsed my mouth before hopping in the shower and when I finished I walked out to a smoking hallway. I ran down stairs with my towel wrapped around me almost slipping down the steps. "Alex!" I yelled. He was on the kitchen floor coughing with burning pancakes on the stove. I turned on the water and put the pan in the sink and took Alex in the backyard for air but he was still coughing.

"in-ha" Alex was coughing and trying to say something at the same time. "in...haler" he managed to spit out. I quickly ran in the house and up to his room looking through his drawers until I found his inhaler. I ran down stairs and gave him his inhaler as his breathing slowed down. "So you and your dad can't cook" I said and he laughed. "you know you're in your towel right?" he said and I looked down and shook my head. I walked back in the house and looked at the pancake box. The pancakes were suppose to go in the microwave, that's probably why Xavier bought them. I opened the windows before heading back upstairs to change.

When I finished I walked downstairs to see that Alex was already in his uniform. We walked out the door but stopped remembering I didn't have a car, nor did I know where his practice was. "don't worry, dad and I talked this morning, I know where to go" and with that he surprisingly grabbed my hand and lead me to his practice. I was glad he was getting so use to me after I left him. Once we got there, Alex ran to all of his friends and they all gave him a handshake. I smiled at the sight of him playing with his friends. I walked over to the bleachers when I saw a familiar face coming from behind them.

"thought I'd never see you again princess" he said walking towards me. "Jace!" I screamed jumping into his arms. "I told you to call me what happened?" he said keeping his arms on my waist. "the pen washed away, what are you doing here?" I asked. He didnt say anything. He just placed both his hands on my cheeks and leaned in slowly. His lips barely touching mine, and he backed up and let go of my face. I frowned and he just chuckled. "tease" I whispered. "haha come here" he laughed grabbing my hand and leading me behind the bleachers. "I can't I have to watch m.........him" I said. I wasn't quiet sure I wanted him to know I had a son.

"only for a minute" he said and when we were fully behind the bleachers he gripped my waist tightly and pulled me in for a kiss. "mmm I've missed those beautiful lips" he said, his cigarette scented breath filling my nose. "I've got something for you babe" he pulled a joint and lighter from his pocket. "Jace I really don't think I should" I said. I wanted to change because smoking and drinking had became a habit for me. "come on just a couple puffs wouldn't hurt" he said as he lit up the joint inhaling it before placing it to my lips.

I opened my mouth and inhaled the smoke letting it relax me. "that's it baby" he said kissing me and moving his free hand from my waist and onto my butt squeezing it causing me to quietly moan into his mouth, which caused him to smirk. I actually ended up smoking with Jace for a good half and hour forgetting where I was. "Kyle!" I heard Alex scream my name from a distance. I quickly sepreated myself from Jace and ran to Alex. "I'm right here! are you okay" I yelled running towards him. "are you okay? because you just missed the best goal ever! and guess who scored it" he smiled and pointed to himself. "that's awesome!" I gave him a high five and a hug. "Kyle who's that?" he said pointing at Jace who was now standing next to me.

"oh this is my friend Jace" I said. "whats up little man" he gave Alex a fist pump. "we're leaving soon so I'm gonna go get all of my stuff ready" Alex said. "I thought we leave at 5" I said confused. "Kyle its about to rain" and he ran off to his bag."who's that" Jace asked. "no one.....I'm babysitting him" I lied straight through my teeth. I felt so stupid for not even claiming my own son. "cool well I'd love to meet up with you again, do you think later on you could meet me at the park?" he asked smiling. "I'll meet you at 8" I responded. "cool" he leaned in to kiss me but I pushed him away. "not in front of these kids" I said making sure Alex hadn't seen us. "Ok.....I'll see you later princess" he smirked, then winked at me walking away.

Alex and I walked back home as he licked the vanilla ice cream o bought him. Which is his favorite flavor just like mine. When we got there Xavier was already home. "dad!" Alex jumped into Xavier's arms. I loved how close they were. Alex told Xavier about all the goals he had made and then headed upstairs for a shower. "so did you have fun today?" Xavier asked. "I guess you could say that. He gave me a hug and held my hand, he so adorable" I said sitting on the arm of the couch. "I'm glad that you two are becoming close because I wanted to ask you something" Xavier said walking closer to me, kneeling down on one knee and pulling my ring off of his finger.

"I know I've fucked up and I'm sorry for that, but when you were gone I missed you so much, I missed having you in bed cuddling with me. I missed being with you and holding you in my arms, kissing you, and getting to call you mine. I've made so many mistakes but I'm learning from them and becoming a better person. You and Alex are the best things that have come in my life and I don't wanna lose you two, so Kyle Mitchell.......will you marry me......again" he ended with a soft smile.

I began to tear up "Xavier, I'm sorry...I just....I don't think I'm ready to be back with you just yet.....I'm so sorry" I said speed walking towards the door. "mom wait!" Alex yelled from the steps which I hadn't noticed he'd been sitting on the whole time. He ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "please don't leave me again" he said quietly. My tears fell down my face and I ran my fingers through his hair. He called me mom! "I won't, I promise" I gently pulled him away from me to look at his face, "I just need some fresh air right now....I love you so much" I said hugging and kissin him one last time before taking a quick glance at Xavier and leaving out the door.

I really need some fresh air.

;) muahh