Thursday January 12, 1933
Snow flurries cascaded down the early morning's grey sky, piling onto the growing mounds in the park where Bucky and I enjoyed our daily walk.
Today, however, was different. It was much colder and snowier than usual. I wasn't all too sure I'd be able to make it through the whole walk to be brutally honest, considering my lung condition. But I suppose the heavy layers of sweaters on top of sweaters on top of coats and hats and gloves and scarves would suffice for now. Having a warm body at your side doesn't hurt either.
Bucky, I mean. That's where he always was: next to me. If not, he would be by my side in the blink of an eye if I needed him. Today, all I really asked of him was his warmth. The man was like a living radiator! Good for me and my twig-like physique, huh?
Even on the harshest of days we would go in our walks. Through rain, snow and sunshine... even a tornado (if we had those here in New York). Today, it was my idea. He didn't want to, though, I practically had to fight him to let me go with him (as he was going to go alone).
"Steve, for Christ's sake, you'll freeze to death if you step foot out that door. I don't want to lose my best friend to pneumonia for something as silly as a walk in the park," he had said.
"But, Bucky, if I never go out I'll never have any chance of getting better. I still have hope that I might, you know?" I replied.
"Yea yea I know. Steve Rogers: The Man Who Overcame His Asthma By Going On A Walk... I can see the newspaper headline now," he put his arms out in front of him, mapping out the poster and looking off into the distance.
I nudged him, "quit it, would ya?" He flashed me a smile and walked away... to get my coat.
Finally, I get to do what I want.
And so we were off. The streets and sidewalks were barren, as was the grey-blue sky... other than the clouds and the sudden increase in the downward rush of snowflakes.
We walked over to the park and entered the wooded area. There were normally lush fields surrounded by the pinks and greens of blooming cherry blossom trees, the yellows of the daffodils hidden amongst the tall grass and the blues and golds sparkling off the reflection of the lake. Today, however, all that could be seen were cascading hills of white, grey skies of puffy clouds, the silver lake that had been frozen over and dark browns hidden within the shadows of hibernating trees and bushes.
Among that walked my best friend and I. My shaky breath was visible in the air and my lips were visibly and audibly chattering, but it was all worth it for what the day would bring us.
• • •
Bucky ran ahead of me and ducked behind a mound of snow. As I looked over at him in confusion a white ball of compacted snow suddenly came hurdling at my face and smacked right into it. I fell to the ground as I heard laughter coming from the distance. Suddenly, I saw him. He was hovering over me with an extended hand, so I took it.
"Buuuuck," I whined.
"Whaaaaaat," he whined back.
"What was that for?" I asked, brushing myself off.
"The snowball? For fun. C'mon Steve. Have a little fun!" He snickered and chucked another one at me, hitting my left shoulder.
I dug my already numb hands into the snow and squeezed it together as the ball formed. Throwing it with all my might, I managed to hit the top of Bucky's head and knock his hat off.
"Hey!" He yelled, trying to catch his hat as it fell to the ground.
"Fair is fair... what can I say?" I mocked him. But I was right. I mean, he hit me directly in the face. I got my payback. I was just afraid of what he would do next...
"You... you little!" He came running at me, arms out in front of him like he was going to plow me down (which, he most definitely could have done, by the by).
My eyes widened as he ran at me "Buck! N-n-n-n-no!" He tackled me, planting the both of us firmly on the ground. His right arm held him up as it rested on the side of my head, whereas his other hand was gently placed upon my chest (where he could probably feel my heartbeat increasing exponentially). My legs were bent as his were stuck in between mine... and my hands were stuck at my sides, unsure of what to do as he laid there on top of me. Is face was only inches from mine and I could feel my eyes fluttering back and forth between his eyes and his... lips.
Okay, maybe it sounds weird but I never noticed how blue and icey his eyes really were. Or how delicate the little brown stubble on his cheeks and chin looked. Neither had I noticed the sweet scent of maple and pine trees mixed with his cologne, nor the way his hair was combed into a gentle swooping wave ever so neatly (but in a somewhat messy way that was indeed noticeably and completely intentional).
Then it was like a raging fire swept through my veins, leaving my face and chest hot and visibly red. My legs went shaky as I involuntarily shifted uncomfortably from the heat I felt forming between us. By the look on his face I could see that he felt it too. The warmth between his legs radiating on me and pushing on my pants pushed away the winter and the snow. I was sweating and it seemed impossible and unexpected but somehow... I knew it felt right.
It felt like after so many years I finally knew what that feeling that I had been experiencing was. I realized that knowing someone isn't the same as feeling this way about someone. And as every second went by and I looked deep into his eyes I felt something different. Something I could only ever feel with him. Something that I was afraid I would never feel in my whole life with anyone else except for him. Except for Bucky.
Without any more thought I searched him. In his hands I felt gentleness. In his chest I saw a racing heart and lungs. In the air I noticed his breath quickening. On his face I saw sweat dripping ever so slowly. His eyebrows looked calm yet stern. His nose was crinkled and the right corner of his lip was upturned, a gap between his parted lips showing his beautiful teeth. His hair falling out of its curly jelled position and resting above his forehead. Eyes full of... what was it? Almost confusion, but not. More like an incessant want for something unreachable. Like he was searching for something that was right there but he just couldn't reach it. Like he wanted something. Someone? A desire. A need for it. That was it. Lust.
I saw his lips close as he audibly swallowed. I watched his Adam's apple push down and up again and felt my own mouth fall open just a bit. His eyes were lingering on my lips as he licked his own and inched closer.
I found my hand pushed up onto his chest, stopping his movement towards me. He let out a sigh... more of a whimper. Like that of a child when they don't get what they want. "Steve—" his voice hitched and needy when he said my name. He never cried like this. His nearly found himself fighting my hand on his chest but, I fought it for him.
Before I could rethink what I was doing I grabbed onto his collar and pulled him close. Our noses brushed up close and I felt his heated breath on my face. I opened my eyes to see he was looking right into them. Like he was gazing deep into my soul. Then he closed them and so did I as I pulled him down closer. His lips skimmed over mine and he let out a slow breath of air. Like he couldn't take it anymore.
He pushed himself down onto me and pressed his lips into my own, tracing my bottom lip with his tongue. I opened my mouth and he sent his tongue in to explore and to twirl around with mine. The stubble on his face scratched on my delicate skin but, I almost kinda liked it...
As I pulled away he let out a slow and soft guttural groan from deep in his throat. I saw the single string of saliva connected our lips as my eyes opened. It was obscene (and that usually wasn't my kind of thing) and I loved every second of it.
Just us, all alone in the park, kissing on the ground surrounded by snow as it fell from the sky.
After that? Well, let's just say we did that whole kissing thing a bit more often than we used to.
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• James_BuchananBarnes •
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Red White and You
FanfictionDo it with passion or not at all ☆ A scandalous compilation of one-shots exploring what life was like in the 1930s with pre-serum Bucky and Steve, how they dealt with newfound feelings for one another, what their first time was like, and more! • Co...