Wants, Tightrope, Spilt Milk

Part Two #12: Tuition at Casper's House

He felt elated, how one must feel when they have lured another victim to their demise. Anna walked by his side with no inkling of where it was they were heading nor what the real purpose of their expedition was. Casper chatted to her but he found it difficult to not only keep the excitement out of his voice, but also find topics of conversation that maintained the mood of confidentiality established in the park. He was perhaps akin to a man who somewhat by chance has convinced a girl to sleep with him, only to then find himself filled with anxiety lest the slightest action or word scupper his achievement before he has gotten her home. Anna, however, was not about to let him go, to lose not only the one person she had always envisioned as her saviour but additionally lose a chance to be alone with him and perhaps, perhaps even pour forth her feelings and he in turn his own.

"Trouble at school then," he asked her in an attempt to maintain the topic before quickly adding, "you can tell me about it soon, you can tell me about everything."

Anna was silent for a moment or two as she worked up enough courage to ask him, "are we going to your house?"

It was a question to which the possible answers filled her with a myriad of emotions. On the one hand his house was the one place she longed to be, the home of her fantasies and a place that filled her with such nervous excitement she almost felt sick from the butterflies and fear of what might (and might not) happen. On the other hand her nerves had a colder, starker edge to them, an understanding that was developing with age and the traumas it brought forth. Though the torments of her bullies had long taken the sheen of childhood innocence from the world, Anna was still naive enough to put aside her fears when she felt she could trust someone. Though she knew therefore that strangers should be avoided, a person like Casper wasn't of the same ilk, and therefore didn't evoke any real, concrete fears. His house was not a place in which something bad could happen to her, but a place in which she could bring something bad upon herself, namely making a fool out of herself by professing her feelings for him.

"I thought we could go to my place. It's close and we can talk in private there," Casper said casually.

"Ok," Anna replied as the world seemed to float around her.

Casper held the door to his apartment's foyer open for her. He lived only five or so minutes from St Leonards Park, on the Kirribilli side of High Street in an eight-level apartment block full of tiny studios and Indian call centre workers. It was not a luxurious place to live but then neither was it expensive. He led Anna up the stairs with small talk about the building. Anna, for her part, felt more fear than joy as all that was unfolding began to lose the shine of a dream amongst the worn tiles, smell of boiled fish and peeling paint that surrounded her; reality proving a poor bedfellow to her fantasies.

He lived on the first floor, just right of the elevator in room 101. He unlocked the heavy door quickly and held it open for her. Before he had left he had worked to ensure the place was warm and welcoming, a faint hint of lingering incense reminding him of his effort. The apartment was a studio and though it was small, he had managed to use the space well. Anna stood in the tiny opening by the door as if afraid to step inside. To her right was the kitchen with a breakfast bar that lined one side and looked out onto the left half of his rectangular studio. The half that lay before this breakfast bar he had converted into a living area and as such there was a small table and two high backed chairs for dining, a black sofa and opposite it on the left wall a television. The sofa and television were set back in a small alcove from the breakfast bar as in the other half of the studio an enclosed balcony took up about a metre of floor space. Alongside this balcony (which was small, Astroturfed and overlooked the car park) Casper had his bed. Level then with the kitchen and alongside the bed lay the tiny bathroom and shower.