hopeless || phan [complete]

chapter 7

"phil, i don't understand why you keep going over to their table."

"whose table?"

"the ones with the curly hair and weird clothes."

"louise, i can talk to whoever i want."

"pj is in my homeroom," chris jumped in. "he doesn't seem too bad, really-"

"but isn't pj the guy who paints his nails? i swear i saw purple on him the other day," charlie interrupted. phil didn't like the look on his face.

"well, in that case i'm pretty sure i saw dan with black nail polish the other day," louise frowned.

"fuckin' faggots, they're probably banging each other in between classes-"

"charlie!" came louise's shocked reprimand.

"what?" charlie looked affronted. "they probably are. and besides, no one cares. right, phil?"

"mm," phil mumbled. he slunk a bit lower in his seat and shook his hair into his eyes, hiding behind his fringe. he almost wished he had never talked to the two boys, but part of him did wish he could wear nail polish to school without the heavy weight of quick, questioning glances to his nails, fleeting little frowns of confusion. he knew charlie wasn't big on gay people, but charlie was a friend. a close friend. phil couldn't ruin that by coming out. or by wearing nail polish.

never mind that he used to have a crush on charlie casey.

"pj's straight," phil finally offered tentatively.

"how do you know that?" louise asked, eyebrow raised. chris shot his eyes over to phil, looking interested. phil squirmed uncomfortably, realizing too late this was the wrong thing to say.

"he, er, told me?"

"anyone who has to randomly declare their sexuality like that is definitely gay," charlie stated emphatically. phil thought this was an immensely hypocritical thing for charlie to say, but didn't comment on it.

charlie's input seemed to be the last word, which phil didn't exactly approve of. but it got everyone's attention off of him and onto their lunch, so he stared at his own and tried to be grateful, tried not to feel lonely, tried not to look over at a very lonely-looking but not quite lonely table of two.

a/n: dammit charlie why you gotta be like this