Find My Way Home [m×m; mpreg]

nineteen

^^^Jae Allen^^^

A soft groan in my ear is what rouses me a few hours later.

My lower back hurts, my hips ache, my lips are bruised and my neck feels raw.  To be honest, everything hurts. It hurts in places I didn't even know could hurt.

I whimper a small whine of pain before burying my face in the pillow.

I'm just about to doze off again, when a muttered curse falls from someone's lips, "fuck."

My body tenses and that makes the pain in my body worse.

"Morgan?"

I moan pitifully as I shift, squinting up at Ian's horror filled eyes.

The horror which reflects mine as I realize what happened, what we did.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he hisses, searching for his clothes.

I don't move.

I barely breathe.

Once he has his trousers on, he looks back at me. His eyes are filled with horror, pain, and so much more.

"This was a mistake," he says.

My heart clenches tightly. Of course I knew that.  It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it still hurts to hear him say those words.

"Why?" I ask, voice small and low.

He ignores me at first, can't even look at me and I think that hurts worse.

Tears blur my vision as he grabs his button up and slips it on.

So, I continue and probe because I can't deal with this, "Why?  Because we're brothers?"

At that he looks at me, eyes sharp and deadly.

I flinch, breath hitching in my throat.

"Morgan," he sighs, reaching out to touch me.

But I back away, pressing my back against the headboard.

"It was a mistake," he says gently, "because there's someone else."

My heart literally shatters and it's an automatic response that I slip out of bed and get dressed.  It's a flurry of movement, heart hammering inside my chest as I slip on my pants, ignoring the pain all over my body.

"Morgan," he calls,  his eyes on my body.

But I don't stop, I can't breathe, I can't!

"Morgan," he repeats firmly, his hand wrapping around my wrist.

"Let me go!" I shout, voice cracking, "don't... don't touch me."

Ian looks desperate, as if he wants to pull me close and hold me tight, his eyes showing his regret.

I hold my self close, away from his touch, wrapping my arms around my middle defensively, "you lied to me."

"No," he says, voice stern, "I didn't, I love you, Morgan.  More than anything."

I shake my head, "You can't love me when there's someone else."

He looks helpless, "Please, Morgan, let me explain.  Let me-"

"No," I sniffle, heading for the door.

My limp is more noticeable as I try to run out of the suffocating room as fast as I can.  

I can't breathe.

There's not enough air in my lungs.

The agony in my heart is gripping it tightly.

His cursed words burning into my mind.

With tears in my eyes, I finally reach outside, a cool breeze caressing my flushed face.  I'm so shocked, so hurt, so--

"Whoa!"

I slam against someone, the force nearly toppling me down until a hand wraps around my waist and steadies me.

I look up, face red and tear stained.

"Morgan?"

"Jae," I whimper breathlessly.

His eyes trail down my body, his brows furrowed in concern as he takes in my frazzled appearance, "Are you okay?  What happened?"

"I'm fine," I lie, "Just need to get home."

"Hey," he coos, his voice soothing and calm.

But no matter how soft his voice, I can't calm down.  I can't stop my racing heat and the panic welling inside.

"I need to go," I choke, nearly hyperventilating.

"Okay, that's fine, I'll drive you home," he agrees, voice brokering no room for debate.

A car rounds the corner just then and the valet steps out.

Jae opens the passenger door for me before stepping inside the driver's seat.

As soon as I'm inside the car, I curl up in the seat and press up against the closed door trying to make myself small.

"Are you okay?" He finally asks again, the car speeding out of the lot.

I hold back the new wave of tears threatening to choke me again.

With a shuddering breath, I say, "I don't wanna talk about it."