His Bella

TEN

Wade stood transfixed to a spot. He took a deep breath before running his fingers through his hair. The wind sang in my ear as I watched him part his lips slightly to talk and then close them again. His eyebrows creased like he was struggling to speak.

"I had no choice", he finally said, "there's just a lot that happened that I don't think you're ready to know"

"Not ready to know?", I asked in disbelief, "I deserve to know!", I spat, "I deserve an explanation for every single promise that you broke"

"It wasn't my fault!"

"Whose fault was it then?", i asked, "what was so bad that you had leave and stop talking to me without an explanation"

"Bella..."

"You said nothing would change, you said you would come back"

"I'm right here Bella"

The emotions stirring up from my visit to my dad's grave weren't enough. Wade's presence made me feel worse and it wasn't long before I started crying again. I hated how easy it was for me to cry. It always made me feel weak and I hated that I was crying in front of him.

Ten years had passed. I hated how affected I still was by a stupid relationship I had in high school. Maybe it was because I never really closed that chapter of my life that had Wade in it. I only moved on from it and acted like it never happened.

I wiped my tears, "Why did you come back? when everything was going just fine", I asked him.

"Because I made a promise and you know I don't break my promises Bella", he said, "I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I stopped contacting you. Things changed so quickly after my Dad died, believe me when I say I had no choice"

I scoffed.

"You have to understand me", he said, "I didn't want to hurt you. I just wanted to keep you safe"

"Keep me safe from what?", I searched his face for answer but he only clenched his jaw and stared at me blankly.

"I have the right to know what happened", I said, "you have no idea what it was like for me..."

Wade hissed, "Damn its Bella"

His lips crashed into mine and he brought his hands to the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. His taste was mesmerically addictive and the kiss was a simple yet intense release of every single feeling that I think we both felt- love, pain, heartbreak. It brought back memories I thought I had forgotten.

And I wanted more.

He released me and his eyes remained closed for a while. When he opened them, an unknown emotion flickered in his eyes but his hands did not leave my face.

"Can't you see that I came back here for you?", he asked in a soft tone, "you have no idea what I went through when I had to make the decisions I made. I had to let you go when I said I wouldn't. I made you cry when I said I wouldn't", he said, "Bella, I watched you love someone else-

-I saw and did things I never thought I'd do all those years away from you", he kept on talking, "it changed me, I'm not the Wade I used to be, I'm not that guy you fell in love with anymore, I'm different"

Hurt burned in his eyes but behind all that, I saw him- young and perfect as he was ten years ago. His voice sounded pained and his eyes darkened.

"If there's one thing that doesn't seem to have changed, it's how I feel about you"

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding, "Y-you can't do that", I finally managed to say, releasing myself from his hold.

He arched an eyebrow, "do what?"

"Kiss me", I said releasing myself from his grip, "in case you've forgotten, I'm with someone else"

"Oh", he muttered, "your boyfriend"

"Yes, my boyfriend's name is Noah", I said sternly, "and he's helped me through so much already. The last thing I need is for you to come and ruin my relationship Wade", I added, "it was hard but I moved on and I'm happy where I am"

"Okay then", he nodded and then a playful smile appeared on his lips, "just to be clear though, you didn't like the kiss at all right?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me"

"It was unexpected"

"But did you like it?"

I rolled my eyes. He went from sentimental to cocky really quick.

"Good-bye Wade", I said, making an effort to walk away.

He held my wrist just as I was about to walk past him, "it's not going to be that easy", he said. I stared at him and saw that he was smirking at me, "you wouldn't get rid of me that easily"

"What are you talking about?"

He stared at the sky and inhaled the air, smiling to himself then he turned back to me, "I fully intend to spend the weeks I have left in this city trying to make you smile again, Miss Storm"

I pulled my arm from his, "let me go", I said.

"I made you cry. The least I can do is make you smile again"

"Shut up Wade", I snapped but the amused look did not leave his face, "don't look for me"

I walked away hurriedly.

***
I waited for about half an hour at the entrance, after calling Noah before he drove up to the cemetery's gate. Thankfully, I didn't see Wade while I was waiting but I did hear a car zoom off on the other side.

As I closed the door as fastened my seatbelt, I sighed.

"Hey, how are you?", Noah asked

"I'm okay", I looked out the window to avoid his gaze.

"That was long", he said, "are you sure you're okay? how'd it go?"

"I'm fine, I just had a lot to say to my Dad", I lied. It was becoming easier to lie to Noah and I didn't like it.

I listened to the car start and as it drove down to road, I thought about Wade. I should have just made an excuse and walked away when I could. I shouldn't have asked stupid questions. I had gotten too emotional and let him kiss me. I ran my fingers on my lips, thinking about it, about how it felt then I shook my head and blushed in embarrassment. Noah was sitting right next to me. What was wrong with me?

I had to convince myself that the kiss meant nothing, it couldn't have meant anything, it wasn't even allowed to mean something. Wade couldn't be in my life anymore and I needed to understand that in order to make him understand that. I had a boyfriend; he was too good to me to deserve all of this.

However, Wade's words still rang at the back of my head.

"If there's one thing that doesn't seem to have changed, it's how I feel about you"