His Bella

TWENTY-ONE

"I need an explanation Bella"

Noah walked further into the apartment, his eyes scanning around. The door to the kitchen was ajar. Wade was behind it with a gun and if Noah found him and started a scene- I couldn't trust Wade to not threaten him with it if he got angry.

"Noah, relax", I said slowly, hoping he won't begin to look around.

"What's going on?", Noah asked in a more subtle voice, "is this about the Danny thing or do you not just feel comfortable being with me anymore?", his eyes searched my face for an answer.

"It's not that"

"Then what is it?", he asked, "did you see your mom today?"

"Yes"

"You know we were supposed to meet up after that right?"

"Yes, I know"

I felt guilty. I had let myself get distracted by Wade that I had forgotten I was supposed to see Noah after.

"So why didn't you show up?", Noah asked

"I d-don't know, I guess I..."

"Forgot?"

I nodded. He ran his fingers through his hair, kind of like how Wade usually did.

"Is there someone else?", he asked.

"No no", I said quickly. I didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"Girls don't forget plans they make with their boyfriends unless there's something else on their minds", he said flatly, "don't lie to me Bella"

"I'm not lying"

This was my chance to tell him everything about Danny's death, about Wade living with me and the reason why he was living with me. I could convince Noah to not say anything until Wade left Michigan. I knew I could but at the same time, I didn't want to.

"There has to be something, and I'm pretty sure it's not your job", Noah said, "you can tell me anything babe, you know that", he walked towards me.

"Yes, I can"

But I can't

"But there's nothing to tell", I added.

Noah nodded, "do you still want this?", he asked waving his hands between us.

I grimaced. He had never given me an option like that before. I had never given myself an option like that before. I thought I was so sure of what I wanted. A normal, comfortable and safe life with Noah. I glanced quickly at the kitchen. He had asked if I was happy and I had lied because comfort was not happiness. I looked up into his dark eyes.

Noah nodded knowingly before walking past me towards the door. He opened it and paused, "I hope you're able to figure out whatever is up with you", he said, "until then, goodbye Bella".

He walked out and closed the door behind me.

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I walked towards the couch and slumped on it. He deserved better, he deserved someone who saw him as their everything, he deserved more than what I could give, someone who wouldn't keep secrets. As Wade walked out of the kitchen, gun in hand a confused look on his face- I thought about how Noah deserved someone who wasn't battling feelings for their ex, someone who wouldn't hesitate when it came to picking him.

"You heard everything?", I said weakly.

"I couldn't exactly help it", he hid the gun behind him and sat close to me, "what happened?

"I couldn't continue lying"

His eyebrows furrowed, "lying about what?"

"About how I felt"

"Oh"

"I don't love him", I sighed, "I care about him like I would care about someone close to me but I don't love him"

I wiped the tears escaping my eyes.

Wade nodded, "then you did the right thing", he stared at the space above my head, "it'll hurt but he'll get over it. People shouldn't have to suffer for your feelings"

I buried my face in my hands, "I feel like such a bad person"

"You might be", he muttered and I looked up at him.

"You're not exactly helping"

He snorted, "I'm sorry", he said, "you'll get over it too"

We sat in silence, staring at the blank tv screen.

"I have a question Bella", Wade said.

"Yeah?"

"Am I the reason why this is happening?", he asked, "is my presence here complicating things for you?"

I stared at my fingers as they played slowly with the hem of my shirt.

"I want the truth Bella", Wade said.

"Yes", the tone of my voice was so low, I wondered if he even heard me. I looked up at him, his lips were curved into a small yet seemingly painful smile.

"I didn't mean to", I said.

"I understand", he said without looking at me, "but you have to know that I'm not right for you and I don't want to mess everything up for you"

"I know", I said, "and you're not"

I stood from the chair and held my hand out to him. He glanced between my palm and my face before taking my hand. As he stood, I wrapped my arms around his tall frame and hugged him. His body tensed and then I felt his chin rest on my head and his arms go around my body too.

He let out a deep breath, "Princess", he said softly and I tightened my arms.

It could have never been long enough for me. He was warm and smelt like cologne. The heaviness in my chest broke down and fluttered like tiny butterflies down to my stomach. There was no Noah, no raiders, no Michael Grace, nothing. I wondered if he had never left all those years ago, would these feelings still exist?

His hand found its way to my face and he tilted my head up so I was staring into his beautiful hazel eyes.

"Why did you say I couldn't have feelings for you?", I asked.

"To keep you safe and happy"

"I don't know about safe", I said, "but happy doesn't seem so far off right now"

He chuckled. "You make me happy too"

He leaned in and for a moment, I thought my heart stopped because he was going to kiss me but then his second hand made its way to my face as he cupped it in both hands. He pressed his lips to my forehead and I sighed.

"You have no idea how much I love and want you", he said into my hair, "but you need to heal and figure out if this is what you really want"

I nodded and released him.

He grinned, "so are we still getting that pizza?"

"You're still hungry?"

A small frown appeared on his face, "I'm always hungry Bella"

I rolled my eyes, "fine, I'll order the pizza"

"Great", he snuck his arms behind him and pulled out the gun, "I'll go hide this again", he waved it in the air.

I froze, "stop doing that", I said quickly, "you might accidentally fire it"

He raised one brow, "you really think Wade Steele can accidentally fire a gun?"

I shrugged, "I don't know"

"Wow", he scoffed, "I'm offended", he walked past me towards the room, "tell them you want pineapple toppings"

I scrunched my nose up, "pineapple toppings are disgusting Wade"

"Just do it Bella!", I heard the door to the room close.

I shook my head but with Wade absent and I the only one in the room, I glanced at the door and my heart ached at the thought of Noah.