I Want Him

{chapter 1}

1672 words

ADDICTION
noun
-The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity

Wednesday
15th February -pt.1

I closed my eyes as I leant back in my chair, zoning out as I put my feet up on the desk.

I was in my second lesson of the day, RE and I fucking HATE RE. "MIN YOONGI!" I heard my teacher, Mrs Lee shout. "You will pay attention and show respect in my lessons! Do you hear me?" she nagged, pointing her finger accusingly.

"Yes" I stated, in my usual monotone voice, pausing briefly before I continued smugly "I hear you, I just don't care" still not bothering to open my eyes as I proceeded to lean my head against the wall.

Then I heard the sound of her heels coming towards me, making me open my eyes and tilt my head upwards to meet her eye line. 

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT ME LIKE THAT MIN YOONGI!" she practically screeched.

I simply smirked, finding it amusing how worked up I'd made her and how she looked like she wanted to slap me.

"You will respect me or you will leave this classroom" she said, her eyes filled with rage, clenching her fists. Slowly, I stood up making sure to knock my chair over in the process. I was only as tall as her, me being quite short, but I stood in a confident manor in which I towered over her.

"Thanks for the offer" I said, smirking, as I walked past her leaving her stood there shocked.  I always get really annoyed when teachers talk about respect.

I hate their fucked up idea of respect, its honestly like they go of some completely different definition or something.

They say they'll respect me if I respect them but their talking about two completely different things, what their really saying they'll only treat me like an actual person if I treat them as some almighty authority figure who's better than me simply because there older.

They get to sound like their being fair when their really not, its manipulative and its not okay.

I began to walk towards the back of the school where the fields were, usually I'd just go to the rooftop where me Namjoon, Hoseok and Jungkook hang out but the schools doing some work up there so we wouldn't be able to go up there for a few days.

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I arrived at the back of the field behind to our school, sitting down on the grass and leaning my head against the wall, staring out into the field at nothing in particular when my eyes were pulled towards the small cluster of trees not far from where I was sat that could just about be classed as a forest.

I suddenly became overwhelmed by memories of my childhood; when I used to go 'exploring' with my dad in the small woods behind our old house and we'd look for bears and he'd tell me stories about all the creatures that lived in the woods.

Suddenly, I brought my hand up to my mouth feeling like I was going to be sick at the mere thought of him; at the thought of what he did to my mom, to us...

Irreversible things.

Things I can never forget, no matter how hard I try.

Things I will never forgive him for.

He went to jail just under four years ago now. I haven't seen him since and don't ever plan to because I lost my real father a long time ago, even before that night four years ago.