Random thoughts of Louie

Names

I'm a dishonest person, anyone with eyes can see that.

I actually think I've lied more times than I've told the truth in my life.

I've lied to my uncles about going to parties, telling them how of course there wouldn't be alcohol, we're good kids!

I've lied to my brothers about being drunk when I asked them to pick me up from said parties.

I've lied to Webs about taking my antidepressants everyday, because damn it, sometimes I want to stop feeling for a little while. It never works, but I'd rather feel bad without taking them than know I've taken them and feel bad anyway. But I digress.

The biggest lie I've told, that I've kept going since I was a kid, is the one that I tell everyone I meet when they ask for my full name.

That it's Louis.

Sure, I hate it. But I like it a Hell of a lot better than what my mom actually named me.

Fucking Llewelyn.

If you know anyone else with that name, I don't want to offend anyone. If they like it, that's fine.

I just don't.

I always got made fun of by Dewey for it until uncle Donald made him stop when we were like, 3.

He always said it sounded like a girl's name.

I didn't come up with my fake first name until second or third grade. Until then, I'd just refused to tell anyone who asked.

I started telling people it was Louis. I think even teachers believed me on that point, because whenever they got mad, that's what they'd call me.

Only me, uncle Donald, Huey, Dewey, Webby, and apparently Storkules know the truth.

Yeah, I never even told Kat. That's actually one of the biggest regrets I have in life, never telling my best friend my actual name.

I know it sounds petty to just not like my name.

Stupid.

(A retcon even, who knows?)

But that's just who I am.

My birth certificate says Llewelyn, sure. But my drivers license?

It says Louis.

Illegal, yes. Fraud even.

But that's me.

My name from my psycho mom was Llewelyn Quackmore Duck.

I kept grampa's name.

But I picked mine.

So yeah, my name is Louie. Call me Louis at your own risk, and Llewelyn if you have a death wish for your ears.

Don't expect me to respond to either of the latter though.

I'm Louie.

And that's all I ever want to be.

It's short, but hey, I like it.

I realized I kinda forgot about this book, so have Lou ranting about his name and retconning our naïve-ness from before Spear of Selene aired.

Ok? Ok.

Bye!

-Anwyn❤️