Agent Arizona: Season 15

The Chronicle

Inside the unforgettable canyon of Blood Gulch, Dylan and her new cameraman are walking to Blue Base. The cameraman is singing the familiar Blood Gulch tune. 

"The heck are you doing?" Dylan asks. 

"I am brainstorming a sweet soundtrack for this location." The cameraman replies. 

"Quit goofing off. I'm ready to start." Dylan walks in front of the cameraman, starting up her report. "The Reds and Blues were mostly strangers when they were first assigned here: a box canyon that may as well be in the middle of nowhere. From these humble beginnings, they've gone on to influence the galaxy as we know it." 

"...Are you talking to me or the camera?" The cameraman asks. 

"What?" 

"What?" 

There is a pause between them before Dylan asks, "Did you get that or not?" 

The cameraman laughs nervously. "Yeah, I got it. I wasn't rolling though, is that what you mean?" 

Dylan rolls her eyes. "Straighten your crap out, Frank." 

"I'm not Frank. Frank quit." 

"He what?" 

"He quit! He said he was sick of getting arrested and shot at." The cameraman explains. 

"Some people just can't take the heat." Dylan sighs. "What about you, New Frank? You got grit?" 

"Oh, yeah!" 

"You have some experience in combat journalism?" 

"Yeah!...Well, weddings." 

"...This is your first job." Dylan concedes. 

"No, nonononono: it's my first internship." The cameraman clarifies. 

"Do you have a degree at the very least?" 

"Well, yeah! I mean, I will soon. Just like, 47 more credits, and then I graduate. And then I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. You know, I think I'll probably move to LA, but that's like what everyone does, I mean, what do you think? Do I really have to live there to make movies? What I really wanna do is direct blockbusters!" 

"Carlos, you penny-pinching cheapskate. I'm gonna skin your cat for this." Dylan mutters to herself before looking back at the cameraman. "Alright, you, what's your name?" 

"I'm actually thinking of adopting a stage name...tell me, what do you think of "Jax Jonez," with an X and a Z?" 

"I am not calling you that." Dylan states bluntly. 

"How about Mick J? Or...M. Night Axeltron!" 

"Just stop!" Dylan orders. "Your job is to follow my lead until you get the hang of things, or until I find my tripod! Got it?" 

"Got it. One question, though: are you married to this story? 'Cause I've got my own ideas for stories that would make really awesome movies! Like what if we did one about a comet that hits the moon and sends it crashing into Earth?" 

"That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard." 

"We could call it Moon Doom!" 

"Enough." 

"And shoot it all in one long uninterrupted take!" The cameraman continues. 

"Enough! Shut up! I'm only gonna tell you this once, so listen closely! We find the facts, we tell the story. We do not make things up! We're journalists, and truth is our currency."