Pastels

23. you and i.

sometimes I miss the old days

the days when I really felt something

I think nowadays I'm just more of a shell

a shell that you can't really hear the ocean out of

an unoccupied, empty shell, that harbors my brain lungs and stomach

sometimes I miss you

wrapped up in my blankets

when my bed was pushed against my wall

and my room spoke your name

back when everything was simple but complicated

but I liked it that way

before I got older and so did you

and more thoughts clouded my brain

and more decisions needed to be made

when my heartache was limited to one

but now it's multiplied

the rush of feelings is gone

because I've lost all trust

in you and I

I've lost trust in both myself and myself

yet I still miss the old days

when I could wrap myself around you and lay there

but now I feel like I've lost you

a past self is just as much a part of me than anything

and I truly feel her slipping away

you and I aren't the same anymore.

we drift further and further everyday

but maybe that's a good thing

I'm growing

changing

becoming another entity that I wasn't capable of becoming before

as i get older i lose my innocence just like everyone else

with time comes age

and with age comes change

and I'm still struggling to decide which of us I aspire to be.

I'll love you still. Always.