My Little Black Joy

Chapter 3

Losing my virginity was all I could think of for days , asking myself if indeed was the right thing to do , I knew I loved him but did it have to be this way .
Random questions without answers  ...but then the good feeling that came together with it made me love it . He made seem like its the best part of the relationship ...Maybe it was maybe it wasn't but the love I had for him cleared all the questions. 
Well we didn't stop we continued making love like we called it . We did everything together when we met . I understood that he didn't have money but I wasn't bothered about spending all my money although I didn't have much , I divided all I got , all I was given as regards to money just for him . I just loved seeing him smile and knowing that he was happy .  

He schooled away from where I schooled but he always came to see me whenever he was in town  .....He made me feel like I was his priority , maybe he meant it but I am sure what I felt was love . He made me feel LOVE...Even in front of my friends and his , he didn't take notice of my friends , he liked them not all but he loved me .

I fell in love with him again and when he caught me at my weakest point , I felt more than love but not Obsession . I gave him my body freely , I let him kiss my ears and my entire body all over and over again , he deserved more I thought . I melted whenever he called me sweet words like "baby" "sweetheart" because all my other relationships I wasn't treated as right as this one felt.
Some thought it was fake and a lot of people told tales about the relationship like he sleeps around , but I felt hurt but I let go because I assumed he made mistakes like I did so who am I to judge him?

     I believed the stories he told me and one time he switched off on me for three weeks , I cried to my best friend at that time sometimes she wanted to me chill but she was going through hell too so we comforted ourselves but other times she wanted me to go out and have a little fun with other people but I couldn't , the guilt I would face later on would be enough to kill me .  Yes, that's how much I loved him .

He made me see love as true and pure . He talked about going abroad a lot but I wasn't always caught up in the idea of losing him as I thought I would but little did I know that he was serious , I had hunches because of some pictures I had seen in his mobile phone.

I tried waving all those thoughts away from my memory , I wished I had met him earlier .
So we made love one more time before it all came crashing down ...That was when I was found out I was with King and he was about leaving Nigeria . At first my friend convinced me that I might be skipping my period but I knew I wasn't a skipper but I just believed to calm my mind down .

I searched for answers that was when I met a man who introduced me to pharmacist who gave me some pills to take to flush the baby away I was already two months gone but I took it , it gave me pains and I flushed a lot of blood away . I didn't want to tell him but I had no other choice but I didn't tell him that I removed it he told me that he would accept the baby but the suffering that came along with it would be great . Ah! What a man! I thought .  It was hard seeing a man who owned up to his responsibility and fault . I loved him once more but then to my understanding King was gone .