You Never Really Can Fix A Heart (Sequel to LML&L)

Chapter 4

Gabi's POV

Over the past few days, Mom has had random breakdowns. I'm not sure of they're related to wedding planning, me, fights with Dad, or maybe even her career. Whatever it is, even though I love her, I wish that she would just keep her feelings away from me. Seeing her so sad just makes my depression worse because I'm sure at least a part of it is my fault. Everything is always my fault.

Work has become a nice escape. There are times where I stay longer than necessary just so that I don't have to go home where my thoughts can echo throughout my brain with nothing to stop them. Before Dad "died" I though that I had kicked my self-harm issues in the ass, but recently they've been just as bad as they ever were.

There's a soft knock on the door. "Gabi? Can I come in?" 

"Yeah," I say, trying to cover up the sadness in my voice.

Mom walks over to my bed and sits down beside me. "I feel like Joe and I have been paying less attention to you," she starts. "Are you alright?"

I nod. "Of course I am. I'm almost graduated, I have a job, there's nothing in my life going wrong."

But I can tell that even she knows I'm lying.

"I'm sorry if my breakdowns have made you uncomfortable," she says. "I am just scared that..." Her voice trails off as she stops talking.

"What?" I ask.

She shrugs.

"Okay, now you have to tell me."

"I'm scared that Joe is only marrying me because of you." The sentence is abrupt and suddenly the future seems even foggier than it normally does.

Mom is crying by now and I hug her awkwardly, sort of wishing that she would just leave the room. I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything at all. Besides, doesn't everything work out fine in the end?

Demi's POV

I feel almost embarrassed after crying in front of Gabi. I didn't mean to tell her one of my deepest fears, it just came out. Of course I'd never tell her my other fear: that she has the same problems that I had suffered with. I know that everything will work itself out, but I wish that it all would happen sooner.

I want to know for sure if Joe really wanted to marry me. He says that he loves me and he's the one that asked, but I think that it could just be because of Gabi and I don't want to get in that kind of a commitment if he doesn't really love me for me.

That evening, Joe, Gabi, and I sit in the living room watching a movie. Actually, I don't think any of us are really watching; we're surely all thinking about our lives and what will happen next. I just wish I knew what Joe was thinking about.

Joe's POV

"Demi?" I whisper as we're sitting with Gabi watching a movie. "Can we go talk?"

She nods and whispers something inaudible to Gabi before following me out of the living room.

I can tell that she's nervous and on edge.

"Joe," she says, right before I'm about to talk, "I really don't think that I'm ready to marry you."

She is crying and I know that she has obviously put a lot of thought into her decision.

"Demi..."

"No! It's okay. If we're meant for each other, then we will end up together. Just not now..."

I nod although close to tears. All I ever wanted was to be with Demi, but I guess now that I have her... I don't know. I just wish that I could figure out Demi's reasoning behind this sudden decision. Does she really think that we don't belong together?