Chickadee - A Yoonmin Fanfiction

Part 4

~ Jimin ~

I pencil in the last of my eyeliner. It was Ji who texted me to say that we had a shoot today. Min Yoongi didn't contact me at all, even though I left him my number on one of my drawings. Looking in the mirror, I feel a pang of insecurity. I was so distracted by Min Yoongi during our concept work. Like, sooooo distracted. No matter how much I sketched and doodled, I couldn't resist interacting with him. I hope I can be better today. But the thought of having Yoongi take photos of me makes me equal parts nervous and excited.

But then, I remember what I did. I ruined his artwork, something he had been working on for a while. Even worse, I had been a burdensome annoyance for the entire session.

Hiding my face in my hands, I try to cover up my embarrassment. I haven't stopped thinking of my mistakes since Yoongi banished me from the studio. I am so immature, so thoughtless. I should have payed attention, should have listened to what he was telling me. But instead I allowed myself to act like a child. I know I shall have to make this up to him. I will be as professional as possible during the shoot. I will apologize thoroughly and carry myself like his coworker. I will resist all urges to try to become his friend, because he doesn't want that. He doesn't want me.

I try to contour my cheekbones, to make them look sharper and me more mature. But when I pull back from the mirror, I see the same old Jimin. The one who makes stupid, clumsy mistakes, and will probably never get Yoongi to notice him.

Tugging at the skin around my jawline, I try to imagine what I would look like if I could loose another 10, maybe 15 pounds.

I leave the house without breakfast.