Chickadee - A Yoonmin Fanfiction

Part 28

•Yoongi•

I sit with my legs crossed, staring vacantly at the empty walls of my apartment.

The events of yesterday night play through my mind like an old movie. A handful of dazed memories lacing together into one flickering narrative. I could almost hope that, in replaying the scene for the hundredth, or millionth time, I might get the chance to rewrite my part in it. But this isn't a movie. Life only gave me one take, and I blew it.

Biting my lip, I retrace my thoughts to the moments before I shoved Jimin into the coffee table. If I had just been logical, if I had just listened to him, everything could be alright right now. Skipping forward in my memory, I replay, in perfect detail, the sound of my boyfriend's cry, the pained expression in his eyes. He needed me...and I just...ran.

I've been back to his apartment two times tonight. After calming down, I realized the stupidity of thinking that my father would try to track my whereabouts. What would he do if he found me? Attack a twenty-two year old man? Drag me back to Daegu? The moment I was able to understand how irrational I had been, I went back to try and help Jimin. But the dancer was nowhere to be found.

For hours, I haunted the alleys near his apartment, desperate to see him come home safe. At about six in the morning, I reentered Jimin's flat, leaving him a note explaining how sorry I was. It didn't seem like enough, so I restocked his fridge with food, doing my best to tidy up the already spotless apartment.

I wish now that I hadn't gone back.

What I did was stupid, dangerous even. It took less than five seconds for me to break down after hearing my father's voice. Five seconds, and I was reduced to nothing more than a terrified, senseless animal. What if Jimin had been at home when I came back? What if seeing him caused me to break down again? What if this time, I did more than shove him against a coffee table?

A gust of harsh wind blows in through the window, causing me to shiver slightly. I hug the folds of my sweater, wiping my nose with my sleeve. I need to make a plan. I need to find a way of moving forward, to figure out what's going on and stop it before it gets worse. There has to be a way to get over this...

A gentle knock sounds at the door, breaking me out of my thoughts. I freeze, feeling my throat constrict with a sudden, sickening apprehension. Who would...

"Yoongi?" The all-too-familiar voice sounds soft and muffled, like a child whispering through a keyhole. "Yoongi? Are you in there?"

My breath catches in my throat as I register the gentle tone. It's Jimin. Incomprehensibly, he's come back to look for me...even after all I did.

The dancer's tiny hand scuffles against the door handle. Almost unconsciously, I find myself holding my breath, praying for him to go away. He hasn't had time to think this through. He doesn't understand how dangerous I could be, or how much he is risking by coming in contact with me. I can't let him see me...not until I know I'm safe.

"Maybe we should try the coffee shop?" A second person mutters.

Cocking my head, I make a quick analysis of the stranger's voice, noting his light Satoori. A twinge of relief works its way up my core. At least Jimin hasn't come alone.

"He has to be here." My boyfriend insists. "His shoes are outside the door. Yoongi! Open up, please!"

Carefully, I draw my knees to my chest, hugging the worn material of my jeans. I feel torn. This might be my only chance to apologize. I should talk to Jimin now, while he's with a friend...but I don't know if I trust myself to do that yet.

"...I don't think he's going to come." A voice whispers from the other side of the door. In a moment, I recognize the stranger's distinct style of speech. He talks just like Jimin, with a noticeable Busan accent. This time, the speaker's tone is soft, and I think that, of the three men gathered outside my door, he is definitely the youngest.