Magcon: the boys next door

Chapter 6

I stood in front of his front door. This was the house that I'd come to know so well. So many memories from the years past. Now look what we've become, Nash I thought to myself. Inside I heard music playing and people talking loudly. I was here an hour after the party had started. I stood on the porch trying to gather enough courage to knock. In my hands I held a small present. It wasn't much but a few of his favorite candies, a gift card, and an envelope. But of course the most important part was contained inside that envelope. It was a letter that I'd written a few hours ago. I explained everything to him. I apologized for everything that we'd gone trough. I told him that I loved him and that I had for years. It had every important detail in there and I was proud of myself for writing it. I'd written that I'd never loved anyone more than I loved him.

I stood nervously on the porch and paced. I was in mid knock when the door flung open forcefully. My heart literally stopped beating in that moment as I expected it to be Nash behind it, but it wasn't. There stood a girl with blonde hair and a short dress on. She looked as surprised as I felt.

"Oh, um hi, Kayla" I recognized her as we had had four classes together this year. She looked shocked that I knew her name.

"Uh, hi. I'm sorry but this party is only for people who actually know Nash. I can tell him that one of his fans stopped by. Maybe you could ask him for an autograph tomorrow at the airport. Oh, I know! Tickets for the magcon show are still on sale!" She smiled and went to close the door.

"Wait! I'm not a fan" I felt angry by what she had said to me. I most certainly was not a fan of Nash I was only here to say goodbye and finally admit the feelings I had for him.

She titled her head and had a confused expression on her face,"Look, I'm going to have to politely ask you to leave. It's a personal party only. I already explained" Then she closed the door on my face. Shocked and dumbfounded, I didn't dare try to knock again. I stupidly walked home. The pain in my chest felt like too much. I collapsed on my bed and into sobs. Why did I even have to try? Every involvement I ever had with Nash just ended in pain, I was hurt either way. Why did I have to love this boy, Nash Grier. Loving him hurt me and I couldn't bear to be hurt anymore. I am friendless and a nobody to everyone in town. Throughout the tears my eyes closed slowly as I settled down to a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, light shone through my window waking me up. Remembering last night's events, I tried my best to take a moment to breath. Today is a different day, Stella. today Nash leaves and so do all of your problems. Nash leaves. Ugh I remembered that the boy I hated was leaving but I still couldn't stand to leave. I bolted straight up from bed and grabbed my present from last night. I quickly slipped a worn pair sneakers on and looked it the mirror. Of course I looked like a wreck from the crying. I ran to the bathroom and washed my face and threw my hair up into a quick ponytail and sprinted down my stairs and through my house. By the time I reached the Grier residence I was panting and sweaty. Before I had a chance to think about it I knocked quickly on the door and took a deep breath.

After a few seconds the door creaked open. There stood Ms. Grier. She smiled when she saw me,"Oh hi, Stella. We missed you last night" My stomach turned at the mention of last night. I smiled back,"I know I really wish I could've came...I was just busy...um anyways I wonder if I could speak to Nash before he left."

She frowned at me,"Stella, I'm so sorry he caught a flight early this morning. After he lands I can tell him you stopped by" she glanced down at my present,"we can mail that to him too if you want" I felt myself deflate from the adrenaline I had while getting down to this house. It all faded and I was left with a deep regretfulness.

"Oh that's alright. It's nothing important anyways"

"Ok, well thanks for stopping by. It's a shame you couldn't come last night. I'll let him know you came too late to say goodbye."

I nodded thank you then wandered slowly down the street. I found myself under the oak tree that Nash and I had shared many months ago. I laid down staring up into the nothingness of the sky. The pain I felt today was much different from last night. It was numbing as if I felt almost nothing at all. I decided that this nothing pain was much worse than the everything kind of pain.

I took out the candy and ate it myself then pulled out the letter. I laughed and shook my head stupidly. I read the words id written passionately yesterday feeling very dumb at the line: I'm bad at showing my feelings for you but I loved you. I still do even now. I laughed again and tore the stupid letter into pieces. They flew off into the wind and i laid there feeling nothing at all.