first person
genre: angst, slight fluff
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"ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?"
My blood was boiling. All I could see was red, and by this point I could picture myself with veins popping at my temples.
"(Y-Y/N), it was a mistake!"
I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists in anger. I feel like shit. My heart feels like it had been stabbed multiple times, then ripped out of my rib cage, then thrown to a rocky pathway only to be run over by a ten wheeler truck again and again.
I stared at Jisung, his eyes were swollen and filled with tears.
If it were in any other occasion I would've broken down at the sight of him, but not today.
"The mistake was trusting you. We've been together for three years. Three goddamn years, Jisung. Does that mean nothing to you?!"
He looked down at the hard floor, ashamed. I scoffed at his actions and grabbed my bag, preparing to leave the cold house I once considered home.
Jisung snapped his head up to look at me, and I saw how puffy his eyes were. My broken heart told me to kiss him, forgive him and tell him everything will be alright, but my mind told me to leave him.
He had been my boyfriend for three years, and within that span of time everyday felt happy. Not once I can recall I have ever felt so joyous. Not even the times when we had those little meaningless fights where we would make up after just a few minutes or a few hours.
A few weeks ago he started acting strange, as if he was slowly starting to give me the cold treatment. At first I didn't put much thought into it, thinking that it was just his hectic schedule, with him being an idol and all.
But then, as time gradually passes, I noticed that he's been getting grumpy and goes home very late, and I barely get to see him. When I try to make time for me and him to relax and have some time together, he says he's busy and all that shit.
Me, being the understanding girlfriend, I agreed.
Not knowing that he was cheating on me with the same slut my last boyfriend left me for.
You read that right—he; the guy who I thought was the one for me—just cheated on me with her.
"I guess we were never meant to be, Jisung. It was nice to have had you in my life." I say bitterly, cracking a sad smile before placing my palm on the cold knob twisting it open.
"NO!"
I flinched at his loud voice. Sure, he's very loud at times but this time his voice is something mixed with sadness and pain.
For a jolly person, hearing him sad makes me sad as well.
No! My subconscious yells at me. He broke your heart, leave him!
I closed my eyes and bit my lip to prevent the tears from falling. I then felt two strong arms wrap around my waist, and a hard chest collide with my back.
Jisung's hot breath fanned my neck, and I could practically feel his tears dripping down his cheeks. I so badly wanted to wipe them away but I know it's not the right thing to do.
He broke my heart, I have to leave him, right?
"Don't leave me, please." he croaked, his voice wavering. "You mean everything to me, (Y/N). Don't you see that?"
"Don't you see that we're over?" I replied coldly, tears falling down my own cheeks.
He shakes his head and tightens his grip around me, hugging me and pulling me inside the house.
"No, please. Please don't say that. I love you so much, (Y/N). And I know you won't believe all the shit that I will tell you but I want you to know that she's nothing to me. I know that's a very shitty excuse but I swear, I don't know what I was thinking at that time. Everything seemed so hectic and all and I was so stressed—"
"You didn't have to let it all out by making out with another girl," I cut him off, "you're not alone, Jisung. I'm here, you can tell me anything. You can ask me if the lyrics you wrote are fine, if your clothes are all good, things like that. You can come to me, Jisung. Why did you have to go to her?" I questioned, turning around in his arms and facing him with teary eyes.
"I know, and I'm sorry. I know little apologies and small gifts wouldn't suffice, and seeing my face everyday wouldn't help. I'm giving you all the time you need, (Y/N). I just want you to know that I love you so much and I'm so sorry. Please, don't ever let me go..." he trails off, putting his chin on top of my head.
I stay silent, debating whether to leave him or not. I wanted to leave so I could have my own space, but it was unimaginable to think of Jisung, all alone, cuddled up in blankets as he cries himself to sleep—
"Don't leave me, (Y/N)." he says shakily, hugging me tightly.
Finally, I gave in, dropping my bag and wrapping my arms around him. I cry into his chest, letting out all my emotions and everything I felt.
After a while, I felt my energy being drained from all the crying I did. My tears automatically stopped falling, but neither of us let go of each other. Nor we would ever want to.
"I love you." he said, kissing the top of my head.
Smiling, I tighten my arms around his waist.
"I love you too."
We can do this, Jisung. Fighting.
That moment, everything felt so wrong yet so right. So paradoxical. And that's what makes it perfect.
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- pealix_lee 💖
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