Stray Kids Imagines (ON HOLD)

fake love ; bang chan

play the song on top for more feels :)

third person

genre: angst

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Petty fights. Shouting contests. Drunken nights. All resulting into two nude bodies, their limbs entangled under dirty sheets, temporarily residing in a seedy, rundown motel; just to get away from it all.

Chan sat on the bed, part of the sheet covering his lower half as he gazed at the sleeping girl beside him, her bare shoulders and back exposed. He reached a hand out and clutched a fistful of blanket to cover her naked skin. And the more he stared at her defenseless figure, the more guilt ate at his being, chewing at his insides like the sharp jaws of a shark.

With reasons only known to him, he, with puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks, looked at (Y/N) longingly, envying the way she slept peacefully, the only he couldn't do the same as of the moment.

The warmth he felt beside him, that resembled a gentle heat of a scorching fire set ablaze, was the only thing he craved from her, but was fading away the more he kept his secret undisclosed.

Would you hear me if I called your name? Would you still hold me if you knew the shame I carried like a shell behind my back?

He was part of the mafia, who sells drugs, engages in illegal activites, and makes guns and retails them in high prices. His team was one of the most sought after mafia groups all over the world, and he had quit his job a few months ago, but he was being hunted down by his former partners. And because he values his girlfriend's life more than his own, he chose to break up with her than to continue feeding her with white lies and constantly put her in danger.

It was becoming apparent that (Y/N) could sense something sketchy in him, she was onto him, and she was starting to pick up things that she shouldn't, bringing her closer to what it really was. And of course, Chan couldn't take it all in his head.

Hurting you was and is something I couldn't do. I would rather die first than do that to someone I love so genuinely.

But in the end the result would always be the same.

When they got together, all they had was the happiest of the moments to ever exist-memories that should fill him with joy, but are no more, they are just dim moving pictures in steady motion with no emotion behind them. They were slowly fading away and Chan either doesn't know how to maintain them, or is too tired to maintain them.

I want to give up.

He didn't want her to give up.

But would you forgive me for all my wrongdoings toward you, would you redeem me despite my secrets, the secrets I wouldn't want anyone to unravel?

Chan looked around the worn motel room. Its chapped wallpaper almost peeling off, cracked paint that coated the wooden door, the faded walls. All of it felt so unpleasantly familiar, and he hated it.

Flashes of his past played in his mind like a broken record once again, and he shivered involuntarily.

He laid back down on the bed, turned his body and faced (Y/N). Her small frame was still and peaceful, her torso raised up and down with each steady breath she takes, and her silky hair ran along her figure, the ends flawlessly touching her smooth skin. Chan was tempted to reach out and caress it lovingly like the way he always do, but he refrained himself.

I don't deserve you.

And it was only a matter of time before she realized that.

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- pealix_lee 💖