Cosmic Love || Newtmas

thomas still thinks he's straight

Upon his return to school, Thomas learned that Ben had been suspended. He hoped that this would calm Gally down, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. Gally's snide remarks indeed subsided, but his anger was visible in his eyes and face. Thomas tried to push that to the back of his mind because he had other things to think about.

Thomas felt very conflicted. He wanted to ask Newt about the incident with the crank, but he didn't want to either. Thomas tried to let that go too.

Brenda and Teresa became increasingly close to Thomas, and quite distant with each other.

Thomas didn't really know what to do about it, he again felt himself feeling conflicted. He didn't know if he liked Brenda or Teresa.

A few weeks after Ben got suspended, Thomas woke up to a loud bang in his bedroom. He looked around the room, startled by the noise. There, by the window, stood Brenda, her long dark hair was wild, looking a little worse for the ware.

“Hey Tom,” she said as though everything was perfectly normal.

“Brenda?” he said, glancing at the clock. It was two in the morning.

“Hi, i was just in the neighbourhood and thought I would, um, stop by.” she fidgeted a little.

“Stop by through… the window...?”

“Uh, yeah..”

“Brenda is everything okay?” thomas asked, worried about the girl.

She gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

Thomas gave her a look.

“Okay,” she said with a long sigh, she crossed to the bed and motioned for thomas to move over. Thomas did and brenda climbed into bed next to him. “But i don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” thomas said. Brenda rested her head on thomas’s chest. Thomas looked down at her, unsure of what to do. He liked brenda, but this seemed a bit too much too fast. They had only known each other about a month.

Over the course of the last few weeks she had been very close to him. It unnerved him a little bit, but she was a nice enough girl. So there in the darkness of his room, thomas wrapped his arms around her. And he didn’t stop her when she looked up at him and tilted her head to kiss him. And he kissed her back. It wasn’t a bad kiss, but thomas felt nothing.

He rested his head on hers and let himself drift off to sleep, and when he woke in the morning, his arms were empty, making him wonder if she had been a dream.

Thomas believed that this must mean he liked Teresa, but when she kissed him under the stairwell between second and third period, he felt that same sort of nothing that he had felt with Brenda.

But Thomas couldn't figure out why Newt always made his heart race, why anytime Newt smiled at him his stomach plummeted.
Thomas hated seeing Newt tired and sad and when he came to school with bruises Thomas felt his insides twist with worry. He always wanted to reach out and take the other boy's hand, brush his cut cheek with his thumb, but in a completely platonic way of course. Right?

A/N: I promise we're getting close to the good stuff, just gotta build up to it first. Thanks for voting and reading :)
--SJ