Twofourteen 214

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I post about wanting to die
Forgetting someone who cares from the other side of the world can see
And so they ask me
"Are you ok?"

I look up words to use instead of numb.
Synonyms from Thesaurus.com
Aloof
Comatose
Detached
Indifferent

...indifferent
they don't believe me
they shouldn't
I lie constantly
Because I'm always smiling

She tries a new tactic
Because she knows
She didn't just hallucinate those posts
"What's up?"
My ceiling I cheekily say trying to act more myself
Trying to act more like the person she knows is happy

She dismisses it immediately and goes right in for the kill
"What's wrong"
She demands
So I hit her with a riddle
Something that isn't right
I say
And I think she's finally given up
It relieves me
Makes my very core relax
But my brain turns it into a sad hay day
________
Thanks,
-donnie

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