Interior Design

Chapter One

Pedro looked happily at the white door of 44C, Timber Street. It seemed a nice enough flat, and from what he could gather, the man who lived there already seemed okay, and hopefully he would be okay with a lodger. He knocked twice. The door seemed to be made of oak. Interesting. The man who lived there was named Thomas Sethorn, and in fact was not too keen on random men showing up on his door and inviting themselves in. "Hi, I'm your roommate," Pedro told him cheerfully when the door opened. He gave a little wave.

Thomas frowned. "But i don't have a roomma-"

"You do now, Earthman."

"Little big man who called me Earthman say what?" Thomas said after a moment of just standing there, looking perplexed and, frankly, rather stupid by Pedro's standards.

"Lemme in," Thomas' apparent new roommate said, rolling his eyes. "I have keys."

"How the hell do you have keys?" squeaked Thomas, incredulous.

"I cloned yours, duuuuh." Say what you like about Pedro, you can't deny the fact that he had sass. Thomas was again confused."Again... little big man who called me Earthman say what?"

"Let me in. I brought animal crackers!"

"Oooh, tempting...what kind?" Thomas loved animal crackers, they were his favourite food.

"The...best kind," Pedro told him dramatically, raising his eyebrows and pulling out a packet.

"COME IN!!!"

Pedro laughed softly and tossed him the little purple packet, crashing down on the sofa. Thomas sat down beside him cautiously. "Oh, by the way, I'm an alien shapeshifter," Pedro said, as casually as if he had only said his favourite colour was blue, and produced another packet of animal crackers from his pocket. He opened it and started eating them.

"LITTLE BIG MAN WHO CALLED ME EARTHMAN SAY WHAT?" No, no...this had to be a joke...aliens weren't real...Thomas knew that. But Pedro knew otherwise, and Pedro was the one who was actually correct.

"I'm an alien shapeshifter. Dear, dear, if we are to be roommates you'd best learn to listen. Honestly. Youths. Can't stand them."

"You look about twenty," Thomas said warily.

"Well, you see, and listen carefully, Tommy boy- yeah, I know your name, deal with it- I can SHAPESHIFT. Got that, hun?"

"Remind me why I let you in to my house."

"Because I gave you animal crackers, of course." Pedro poured the rest of his packet into his mouth and crunched on them for a few seconds, them swallowing. He threw his rubbish onto the floor.

"Ah. Fair play..."

"Hmm. Well, now that I live here, we really must do something about your interior design. This sofa SO doesn't match this carpet." Pedro looked around the room in apparent disgust.

"Look...midget. If we're going to be together in this house, you'll..."

"Be together? Oh, but Thomas, we hardly know each other! ...Wait, you meant that sexually, right?"

Thomas blinked in shock and slapped the guy accross the face.

"Okay, uh, that's just not nice, okay?" Pedro said, putting a hand up to his cheek. With his other hand he slapped Thomas right back.

"Well, you know what else isn't nice?" Thomas said aggressively, his breathing deep and slow. He stood up gradually, hoping to look menacing and failing horribly.

"What is it, little boy?"

"Um...MY SHOE!" In a quick movement he brought his foot up and kicked Pedro in the shin.