Interior Design

Chapter Two

"WAKEEEEE UPPPPP!" a squeaky but friendly voice yelled. "Morning, Morning, RISE AND SHIIIIINNEEEE!"

Thomas' eyes slowly flickered open to see Pedro, his new alien roommate hanging above him. "WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT GOING IN TO MY ROOM?" Thomas screamed, chasing Pedro down the hallway towards the kitchen. "I SWEAR I'M GONNA KILL YOU, PEDRO!" he added, still screaming very loudly.

Pedro kept running forward, he wasn't screaming though- he looked as if he was having the time of his life. He had no clue which emotion to feel.

"SO... about the shops," Pedro began, "are you still up for them?"

"LOOK," Thomas replied, "only if you agree not to crack any sexual jokes, which includes hottie, hot, fit, sexy, THE LOT."

"Sure thing, you fit, sexy being."

Thomas looked blankly back at Pedro still trying to remind himself that he was an alien underneath this average looking man.

Pedro grinned. "So, hottie, what d'you need to buy?"

"A weapon of great torture, preferably one designed for killing aliens..." Thomas joked.

Pedro looked at him like a kicked puppy. "You want to...kill me?"

"Don't take it seriously!" Thomas said cheerfully, patting Pedro gently on the back.

The alien nodded slowly, looking genuinely confused. "Right..."

"Come on...grab that yellow bag on the side table, the shop opens very soon."

"Why do I need to 'grab' the bag? Can't I just pick it up with reasonable vigour?"

"How about you carefully lift the bag and put it in to a pram so it can't get grabbed by any unkind strangers?"

Pedro frowned. "Okay...do you have a pram?"

"Have you ever heard the term 'rhetorical question' or even heard of this little thing called 'SARCASM'?" Thomas mumbled under his breath.

"Ah. Well, I must apologise, see, where I come from, our sense of humour is quite different."

"A bit like how you treat your housemates?"

"Yes, see...greeting each other with, 'Hey, sexy,' is considered normal. Polite, even."

"Oh, that explains a whole lot... just shut up and follow me," Thomas said, pushing the front door open, "Well? Get out then?"

"But you see, you are actually rather cute," Pedro said quietly, stepping out the door.

"Just get in the van," Thomas answered.

"Is this the appropriate time for a sexual innuendo or will you yell at me?" Pedro asked softly.

"HOLY COW. WHY DO YOU THINK OF EVERYTHING THAT WAY?" Thomas yelled.

"I don't think of everything that way, usually. But when some fit guy from Bath is standing right next to me...well."

"How about we make a deal?"

"Uhh...okay. Depends on the deal, honey pie," Pedro said with a little smirk.

"Yes or no?"

"Hmmm...nah, then," Pedro said casually. "Also: you have pretty hair."

"That's funny! I was going to compliment you back but...OH LOOK.... you're bald."

Pedro huffed and crossed his arms. "And I was just going to hug you, but...OH LOOK...I still am!" He grinned and flung his arms aroung Thomas.

"You...ow...ow...GET OFF OF ME!" Thomas shouted, closing the van door. He carefully buckled up his seatbelt and then ignited the engine.