The Book of Sad

Chapter 6: The Decision

Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider and crew. They belong to Anthony Horowitz. The only thing mine is some of the plot and the OCs. Enjoy!

Chapter 6: The Decision

November 12th, 1986 (Continued)

They stood in the doorway for another moment, just greeting each other.

When they walked into the living room, arm in arm, they were happier than I've ever seen them. I stood up to hug John.

"Bro, thanks so much for staying with Helen these past few months, you've been amazing," John whispered in my ear.

"Any time, man," I promised.

John turned his attention to Helen, who is sitting on the opposite end of the couch. "God, Helen, you look amazing. You're what, 6 months along now?" She nodded, and he continued "I'm so sorry I've missed it. If I'd have known, I never would've—-" that's all he could get out before he started ugly crying.

"Shhh, shhh, John, it's okay. I don't blame you. And anyway, you're here now, so that's what counts." Helen said, trying to comfort him.

John sniffled. "I know, it's just, that's my kid in there," he gestures at Helen's baby bump, "It feels wrong to leave you all alone."

"You were out doing what you believed in," Helen said, "And I wasn't alone, I had Ian."

"Thanks again, Ian, for helping my wife when I was unable. I know it can't have been easy"

"It's no problem," I smile, "It's been wild, but we had fun," I respond, and Helen laughs.

"I don't think I want to know," John considers, "Actually, I do, you two have to tell me everything!" He laughs, sitting between Helen and me on the couch.

We talk for about an hour, telling him the crazy times we had, and showing him the picture of Helen in Hyde Park, and the sonograms.

"When are these from?"

"August," Helen tells her husband, "But I've scheduled an appointment next week to take more pictures and tell us the sex of the baby." John smiles and kisses Helen again.

"Do you guys, um, want me to leave?" I ask awkwardly, "I'm sure you want some...some alone time."

Helen laughs, and John flicks my head. "Later, Little Brother, I want to talk to you first." He eyes up Helen. "It's work stuff," he tells her, "I need to talk to Ian alone."

She sighs and gets up, clearly used to this. "I'm going to take a bath."

"Try not to throw up!" I tease, and she laughs the whole way into the bathroom.

I turn and face John. His smiling façade is gone, replaced by a serious look.

"How was Mdina?" I am dying to know.

"Mdina was a clusterfuck." He sighs.

"Really, what the hell happened?"

"Four of our agents were killed by my partner, who also stuck a knife in Ash. Now, Ash is in the hospital in critical condition."

"Damn," I said, at a loss for words, "How did everything go so wrong?"

"It was Ash's fault," John admitted, "They were five minutes behind schedule. Everything just, it just went so horribly wrong." My brother sighs, putting his head into his hands. "Four agents died because of me, and now my best mate might, too. All because of this baby. Bloody hell. This all really happened at the worst time." He looks at me. His eyes are red, he was crying. Before tonight, I've never seen John shed a single tear, and now, he's already cried twice. He is a mess. "I only came back for Helen. I knew she was struggling, and I couldn't just stand by and watch from Venice or wherever. Am I even ready to be a father? I don't think I am," He sighs again, "Ian, my heart is in two different places right now. One is here, with Helen and my kid, but one is over in Venice. I love my job. I hate to say it, but choosing between MI6 and my wife and baby was the hardest decision of my life."