When The Sun Rises | ✔

17 | A Big Girl Now

     Chapter 17 | A Big Girl Now

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        I stare out the window at the shrubs of white lazing across the sky, watching the scenery change beneath their shadows: office buildings to schools, highways to residential areas, and malls to parks.

        My knee won't stop bouncing as we approach a row of red-brick townhomes, only distinguishable by the golden numbers placard to the doors.

        The car slows to creep and we squint up at them to find the one written on the envelope. Eyes skimming over each door, my jaw ticks reflexively.

        "I think this is it." Ms. Corrine's voice is barely above a whisper as the tires seizing their revolutions – similar to what it feels like the world just did.

        Stopped.

        Come to a ground-breaking, heart-clenching, halt.

        I can't even absorb the weight of the situation. My mind was in limbo the whole drive, swapping between finding shapes in clouds and playing games on my phone.

        Still not ready to face it, my eyes latch on to the towering maple tree about fifteen feet away. I try to read the paper stapled to the bark, narrowing my eyes at the small print. A breeze sweeps beneath the edges causing them to rise with the draft, flitting up and down. The paper damn near waves at me.

        "Do you want me to stay," Ms. Corrine asks. "Or I could leave, and you can call me whenever you're ready, I don't want to... intrude or make you feel rushed."

        She sounds winded and her forehead creases, hand resting anxiously on the center console like she's trying not to grab my hand.

        I tug the hem of my khaki shorts, twirling a loose thread around my index finger until it hurt.

        "Could you just uh... Wait for me. I don't think I'm gonna be here that long for real, so you can stay," I rasp, not wanting to raise my eyes to hers.

        "Yeah, sure, Hun. Whatever you want. I'll be right out here if you need anything, okay? But, I'm sure everything will be fine."

        Forcing a smile, I glance back at her before clasping a sweaty hand around the door handle. I push it open and swing my wobbly legs out of the car. The sun immediately flushes into my eyes and across my thighs, heating them up like sausage patties; I frown against the glare and shut the door behind me.

        Hesitant and high-strung, my feet refuse to move. They take an unapproved leave of absence, ignoring my commands to take a damn step. I give myself five seconds to get it together, but the seconds turn into a minute and I still don't move.

        The window whirs behind me and Ms. Corrine's words rise against the static between my ears. "Is something wrong? Did you change your mind?"

        Her voice is almost hopeful. I shake my head. "Nah. I'm straight, just need a minute."

        Looking down, I notice the blue and yellow hopscotch squares etched into the sidewalk beneath my feet. I take my first step.