When The Sun Rises | ✔

28 | Just Relax

Warning: This chapter contains mild themes of sexual assault. To any of my readers who may experience triggers, please prioritize your mental and emotional stability and stop reading if you need to.

 

Chapter 28 | Just Relax

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        It's been three days since I agreed to that outing with Vino, but it wasn't until thirty minutes before this meeting with Ms. Miranda that I remembered I would actually have to tell her about it.

        "So anything new going on around here? How's everything at school?"

        We have been doing our usual catch up routine for a few minutes. I tell her about anything big that may have happened since our last visit and she asks me the same generic questions to make sure I'm still on track and not "self-sabotaging" as she calls it. The small talk has never been an issue before, but the news is cradling the tip of my tongue, threatening to leap to freedom every time I open my mouth.

        "School is fine. I was actually finishing up an assignment when you pulled up and I'm prolly gonna study for this Calc test after you leave."

        And I agreed to go out with Honovi. The words are right there, two-stepping on my tastebuds, daring me to see how they would perform past my lips.

        She glances down at her watch, probably to see how long before she has to leave to get to her next client. "Well, tell me about your meeting with Sheila. Qué pasó?"

        "We had dinner," I mumble. The less I say, the better.

        "Qué más?"

        "And I agreed to try to be nice. You told me to fix it and I know Daddy would want me to at least try so yeah."

        On top of the pressure to tell her the latest, it dawns on me that I only have three more meetings with her before I age out. For the past nine years I have met with her twice a month – sometimes more when I was going through my rebellious phase – and transitioning from that to not seeing her at all is something I haven't thought about until now.

        "I'm actually surprised to hear that. You've avoided the topic for so long, I figured you heard static whenever I talked about Sheila." She side-eyes me and I suck my teeth at her lame attempt at humor. "I'm so proud of you, Keila."

        "Yeah, yeah," I say on a sigh as she starts shuffling through the papers in her briefcase. I use the break in conversation to think of ways to tell her about Honovi that won't involve beating around the bush and can't think of a damn thing. So I blurt it. "I'm going out with Honovi, by the way."

        She visibly balks. Her hands stop their fumbling, eyebrows reaching for each other and lips pressing together. Placing the briefcase at her feet, she asks, "Since when? You told me that the two of you were just friends and you usually talk to me before making such big decisions, mija. How long have you – "

        I cut her off when I realize she'd misunderstood me. "We're not going out like dating or boyfriend and girlfriend, Ms. M. I meant that we're just gonna hang out. Maybe catch a movie or something, nothing too crazy. I already told him it wasn't a date."
       
        She tucks a dangling strand behind her ear and folds her hands on her lap. The red of her nails clash with the green and white pinstriped pants she's wearing and the colors remind me of Christmas. A season of jolliness and peace – the opposite of what the hell I'm feeling.