I felt like i was worthless, like i didn't matter anywhere. I was a waste of space. I felt empty and lonely. My only friend Jill wouldn't talk to me any time at all for the past year. I didn't understand why though. My world was crumbling down, i just wanted to leave. Maybe i should. Maybe all the pain would go away.
It seemed like everyone hated me everywhere, for some reason. I felt alone. My father and mother split up when i was about 4. I had a stepfather. He was horrible. Sometimes i'd be sleeping and he'd wake me up at four o' clock in the mornign to do the dishes over again. I felt absolutely miserable.
Why havent you killed yourself yet? You're worthless and no one likes you.
my stepfather said.
His words rang through my head as i felt the last blow against my stomach and hit hard against the wall. I tasted blood in my mouth. I coughed some up and he spit in my face. "Why were you ever born?" he yelled storming into the kitchen. I weakly got up and went up to my room.
I found the razor hidden under my bed. I never do anything right. This is the only thing i do right. I walked to the bathroom and sat down on the floor. Why did my life have to be like this? Maybe if i wasn't here, everyone wouldn't have something to worry about all the time. Maybe everything would be better, maybe the pain would go away.
I slowly took off the bracelets i wore and scanned my fingers along the old cuts. I slowly pressed the cold razor against my skin and pressed down. I slid it across my skin and the first cut wasn't very deep. I slid it against my skin three more times, and the last was deep. I put a bandage on my cuts and put my bracelets back on. i went downstairs and saw my stepfather sitting at the table playing solitaire on the computer.
I went into the kitchen to see if there was any food in the fridge to eat. Only some sour milk in a jug that looked really old. I closed the fridge and went back upstairs. I walked into my room to get the money i had saved for the past two years. i pulled the brick outof my wall that was loose, and i got some money. I grabbed about twenty dollars. i solwly walked down the stairs and saw that my stepfather was sleeping.
I snuck out the back door and started walking down the street. i looked for the nearest restaraunt. and bought some food. It was good really good. The restaraunt was named Docs. It was expensive but it was worth it. I ate, it felt so good to eat a full meal for the first time in a while.
It was raining when i started to walk home. i hadn't even realized the blood was still rushing through the bandaid and down my hand. I tried to run back to the house, but my vision started blurring and i got light headed. I fell to the ground with a thud.
