Carl Grimes x (girl) Reader

Last day on earth pt 2

It's all over.

I let my eyes float to the sky, tears flowing hard. I hear sobbing, but everything seems so far away. I lean backwards, Still holding my legs, looking for comfort. I hear Carl whisper something but I'm in another world. I'm staring blankly at the ground my body completely in shock, my hair in my face. I only snap back into reality when "Lucile" is brought down hard on the ground next to me.
"Well, well. Who do we have here? Not so tough now huh?" I hear Negan speaking to me but I refuse to look at him.
"Look at me doll."
I ignore him still.
"Aw come on, don't be like that." He puts Lucile under my chin and pulls up hard. I feel blood run down my neck as I stare at him, emotionless.
"Where did those tears go huh? I have to admit I love to see a pretty girl like you cry." I grit my teeth, trying not to get myself killed. He glares at me, wearing that stupid smirk of his, waiting for me to speak.
"Fuck off." I spit with venom laced words. He chuckles.
"Oh I love a feisty girl. Let's have some fun." He smiles big and wide. I furrow my eyebrows together, not quite understanding. He looks behind me to his men.
"We're taking this one with us. Don't touch her. Understood?" He says possessiveness filling his  voice. My heart drops. He kills my brother, then wants me to come with him? I stay silent instead of doing something stupid. Negan bends down and whispers in my ear.
"You're all mine doll-face" I bite my cheek and continue to not speak. He goes back to the center and looks at Rick. He walks up to him.
"Cmon Rick! Let's take a ride." Negan drags Rick into the RV as we all stare in disbelief. I finally look at Carl, tears finally streaming down his eye. He looks at me with pity. I accidentally look at Glenn, I feel vomit rocketing up my throat and before I can even notice I'm on my hands and knees vomiting the small amount of food in my stomach. I hear a couple of saviors scoff. One of them whispers
"Why'd he pick the weak one?"
I stand up, anger finally spilling out. I wipe my mouth and turn to the one that was speaking to us when we were first surrounded. I point to the one who made the comment.
"How important is that guy to Negan?" I ask, not really caring about the answer.
"Not at all sweet cheeks." He chuckles.
"That'll just have to do." I storm over to the man, he still has a smug look on his face. I punch him as hard as I can, he falls to the ground his nose starting to bleed.
"I am not weak. I could kill you right here, right now. Don't play with me." I kick him in the stomach before I walk away and take my seat next to Carl again. I sit with my elbows on my knees, my jaw clenched hard. Carl gently puts his hand on my shoulder, attempting to calm me. I yank my shoulder away from him.
"Don't. I can't have you caring about me anymore." I shake my head.
"No matter what happens, I'm either gonna be dead, or wishing I was and I can't have you worrying about me. So for the sake of both of our sanity's, just stop caring about me. Please." I say with my voice shaking and my eyes flooding with tears.
"No one can care about me anymore, I'm gone." I stand up, take off my jacket and lay it over Glenn. I walk to the man I punched
"Give me your jacket." He shakes his head, laughing.
"Just cause you punched me doesn't mean I'm scared of you Sweetheart."
I stare at him, giving him the greatest death stare I've ever done. He looks at me, fear spreading through him. He quickly hands me his jacket. I cover Abraham with it gently, not being able to handle seeing either of them anymore. Carl and Maggie are hugging at this point. My heart aches, I know I should be with them; but I just need everyone to stop caring about me.
~time skip~
By the time Negan and Rick are back, it's daytime. I watch with a confused look as Rick is basically dragged out of the RV, you could tell he had been crying. Rick returns to his spot, when he looks at me and Carl the anger in his eyes returning. Negan bends over. Looking Rick in the eyes.
"You still got that damned look. Like there's hope for you or something? You just don't fucking get it do ya?" Negan looks at Carl and I immediately feel sick again.
"Kid, get over here. Spread eagle face down on the ground right next to pops." Carl and I look at each other, silently saying our goodbyes. At least I was.
He smiles, looking towards an older man.
"Simon, you got a pen?" My eyebrows furrow together at the question.
"Yeah." The so called "Simon" says. He takes a sharpie out of his shirt pocket and tosses it towards Negan. 
"Sorry kid. This is gonna be as cold as a warlocks ballsack. Like he's just hangin his ballsack above ya and dragggginn it right across your forearm." He says with the pen cap in his mouth.
After everything, this is what he apologizes for? Bullshit. I tighten my jaw, watching Negan draw the line. Knowing what's coming next.
"Please, please don't. Please." Rick begs.
"Me?" Negan chuckles darkly.
"I ain't doin shit." He stands up, grunting slightly as he does.
"Rick. I want you to take your axe, cut your sons arm off. Right on that line." My vision gazed over, knowing how easily Carl could die. Blood loss, infections, you name it. I just stare at Carl as Negan continues to make his threats.
"Now I know, I know. You gotta process that for a second. That makes sense. I'm gonna need you to do it though, or all these people die. Then Carl dies, then the people back home die, and then you. Eventually. Imma keep you breathing for a few years. Just so you can stew on it." Negan continues to stare at Rick. Michonne speaks up.
"You don't have to do this. We understand, we understand." 
"You understand, yeah. I'm not sure Rick here does. I'm gonna need a clean cut. Right there on that line. Now I know this is a screwed up thing to ask, but I'm gonna need it to be a salami slice. Nothin messy. Clean. 45 degrees. Give us somethin to fold over. We got a great doctor.  The kid'll be fine." He looks at me.
"Probably"  I completely shut down. Everything is blurry and I can barely hear anything. It all just sounds like a high pitched ringing. I close my eyes and lean over, not wanting to see anything. About ten minutes later I feel something kick me. I look up finally, Negan is standing above me.
"Let's go sweetheart."