Too Far In The Game

Different State of Mind

The next day I had a bad feeling about something but I just don't know what it was. I went downstairs and like usual Bandz, Rock, Stone, B, Kay, Mel, Kway, Mikki and Marquis were sitting and talking. I sat down away from the others still upset at Kway. I noticed him looking at me a lot but I tried to play it off as if I didn't. I got up and walked into the kitchen and heated up my breakfast from the day before. I ate in the kitchen. I began playing games on my phone and getting on Instagram. Once I finished my food I went upstairs and cut on my TV. While watching Maury I was you there rolling. Those girls are so stupid. How could you really not know who yo baby daddy is? Why are you even fucking that many dudes raw? One of them niggas might have a damn STD and you letting him bust a nut all in yo loose ass vagina. Shaking my head. What's really funny is when these men come on her claiming up and down they only fucked that girl once, they weren't in a relationship,.and he was wearing condom ad say they not the father but when Maury reads the results and say "You are the father" they wanna get mad.....bet he gone use that condom next time. During commercial I changed into some dark denim destructed jeans and a Venice Beach Charlotte Rousse crop top. I threw my hair in a messy bun and put on some gold sandals. Plopping on my bed to watch more TV, I almost bounced off which made me giggle a little. I layed back and got comfy. All I needed was a blunt and I'd be good. Right when Maury was about to give this fat white lady the truth of whether her husband was cheating or not Kway came busting into my room looking scared as hell and panicking. He closed the door standing in front of it looking at me with his finger over his lips signalling me to be quiet. I was confused and didn't know what was going on then all of a sudden banging on my door and shooting frightened me. I grabbed my gun pointing it in the direction of the door. Kway tried keeping the door closed but two masked men busted through and everything went silent. One of them grabbed Kway and the other ran over to me. I was wrestling with the man to get my gun but he managed getting it out of my hands and threw it across the room. Both men were holding Kway and I facing each other about 10 feet away. The man who had Kway was holding a gun to his head. I was trying to fight off the man but he had a tight grip on me. They walked us closer to each other and he cocked the gun that was pointing at Kway. I was screaming and yelling trying to get to him. The gunman looked me in my eyes and slowly pressed the gun to Kway. He was smiling and I felt defenseless and helpless. Kway looked pissed but he looked at me as if he was trying to tell me not to worry, that everything was gonna be alright. I stopped fighting and closed my eyes with tears still falling down. I knew what was about to happen and I couldn't see that. I couldn't see him die. The masked man holding me yanked my head up facing him and held it with my eyes open. He was making me watch them kill Kway. He pulled the trigger. I heard it. I heard the gun shot that killed bim. Blood flew everywhere and even got on me. I cried out his name but silence fell over the room once again. Nothing was coming out my mouth. He pushed Kway down to the ground and let me go. I fell to him as his lifeless body latest there on my floor. The two men disappeared and I stood there gripping onto him screaming his name as if he was gonna wake up and tell me he was alright. I needed him with me. I checked for a pulse but there was nothing. No sign of life at all. I no longer saw a reason to scream nor cry at this point. I just layed beside him on his chest. Vengeance wasn't an option. They were gone and took Kway's life with them.

Everyone came in the room and stood there by the doorway in shock. Mikki covered her mouth, Kay closed her eyes and leaned on B for comfort, Mel turned her head, Rock called police, Stone yelled and destroyed everything in my room, and Bandz and B came over and consoled me eventually trying to pull me away from him but I held my grip calling out his name repeatedly and quietly. Tears began falling once again.....

Everyone was yelling my name wanting me to let go but I couldn't. "Angel...Angel....Angel!!..ANGEL...ANGEL.. ANGEL WAKE UP!!"

I jumped up gasping and looking at everybody staring at me. I noticed I was griping onto something...someone. It was Kway. I was relieved and didn't let go.

"You alright sis?" B said wiping a tear from my eye which I didn't even realize was falling.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out so I just nodded slightly.

"It's 3 in the morning and you up here screaming like you getting murdered." Bandz joked.

"Whatever dream you was having must have been terrible cause ain't no more blood circulatin' to my hand no more Shorty." Kway smiled as everyone else laughed. I let go of his hand.

"What was ya dream about?" Stone asked lighting a blunt.

"Umm well.. -" I began but was interrupted by Mel.

"Her and Kway must have been fuckin cause girl you was yelling his name." She busted out laughing along with everybody while I just looked at her wanting to kick her in the face.

"Nah he must have died." Rock said.

"Whatever...they was fucking I think I'd know." Mel argued.

"Nigga have you ever got fucked and started crying?" Rock asked.

"No but th-"

"My point proven then. I know what I'm talking bout....He died didn't he?" He asked looking at me.

"Damn does it matter? She alright that's all that matters. Let's leave her alone so she can get some sleep." B said giving me one of those 'I got you're nods. Everyone except for Kway left the room. B closed the door.

"You straight Shorty?" Kway said getting into bed with me and putting his arm around me.

"Yea I am knowing that that was a dream." I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"What was it about?"

"I woke up...or at least I thought I did...I went downstairs and y'all was all down there talking and stuff just the usual and I went in the kitchen to grab some food then came back upstairs and watched TV. Not long after that you came running in the room chased by these two men and they grabbed my gun and one of them had a gun to you head and the other one made me... watch...you die. He killed you and I couldn't do anything about it." I looked down into space reliving it all as a tear fell and his shirt.

"Shorty calm down. I'm still here. I ain't leaving you no time soon." He kissed me on the forehead and hugged me tight. I returned the hug. "You want me to stay in here with you tonight?"

"Please." I looked up at him.

"Of course.....And I wanted to apologize for the way I acted the other day. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you're here with me right now." I said.

I wouldn't leave you for the world Shorty. Let's go to sleep...I love you." I layed on his chest and fell asleep feeling safe. Nothing was worth this moment right now.

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