To All The Boys I Loved Before (sequel)

chapter [one]

Lara Jean's pov (point of view)

  Now that Peter and I were officially dating it was like we were completely inseparable. These past two weeks of Christmas break we spent almost every day together but sadly the days passed by all too quickly and school was approaching. I'm not gonna lie ok? I'm nervous. Oh gosh I'm sooo nervous! I'm nervous about going to school with Peter being my, you know, boyfriend. I was in love. I feared it was a mistake but I trusted him, he wouldn't hurt me. He loved me but that didn't stop my thoughts that kept me up all night. What can I say? This was my first real relationship. These passed two weeks had been fun but what was going to happen at school? With Gen? Other girls? What if he ditches me for one of them?

No. I stopped myself. Lara Jean, you're most certainly over thinking it. Peter loves you.

"Hey.." Said Josh as he entered my room and sat on my bed.

I spun my chair around and faced toward him.

"Everything alright?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just in my thoughts I guess." I flashed a smile. "What're you doing here?" I asked.

"I... uhh.." he stammered.

"What's up?" I asked, now taking a seat next to him.

"Can we go for a coffee?" He asked concerned. "There's a lot I need to get off my chest and I'd really like too Lara Jean." He continued.

  Margot.
How will she feel?
He is her ex boyfriend but he was your best friend and you don't wanna loose him so... go! ... Gooo!!

"Sure, lemme get ready real quick. I'll meet you in your car in a few?" I said.

"Really?! Ok, I'll be waiting." He said rushing out of my room and shutting my door.

  I didn't know exactly what he wanted but ever since Margot and him had broken up he'd been very dependent on me. Always asking me to hangout, go to to the movies with him, go get coffee but of course this was one of the first times I'd actually agreed. Most times I was busy with my own life, well mainly busy with Peter but today Peter is busy so, what the heck?

I opened the car door and Josh drove us to the nearest coffee shop.

"Josh.." I said before he got out.

"Yeah?"

"Why have you been making so many plans with me recently?" I asked.

"Lara Jean, are you serious right now?"

"Yeah! I mean think of it! You NEVER wanted to hangout when you were dating Margot, you were focused on her and you should be, she's your girlfriend-"

"Was my girlfriend." He corrected me.

"Yeah, sorry. But it's like now, now you're always over, over more than you were before, you call me forty times a day!-"

"Okay Lara Jean, I get it. Look, besides the parts you beefed up. You have a point."

It was silent.

"I miss Margot like hell but I guess I've realized that even after Margot left me I don't wanna see her, I wanna see you. I want you back and more than a friend this time. Lara Jean think of it, she's in College she'd never know!-"

"Josh!"

"Lara Jean, I'm sorry-"

"I have a boyfriend and I could NEVER do that to my sister!"

"Your sister LEFT me. Remember?"

"Yes but still-"

"Lara Jean I-"

"Don't say it Josh, this was a bad idea." I said grabbing my bag from the floor of his car.

"Wait please.."

"No Josh, you're going through a break up and you just want me to get back at my sister, ok? We need a break, you aren't ready to be friends and you know I'm dating Peter."

"Oh big fucking whoop. It's not like he's gonna want you in a month Lara Jean, so waste your fucking time with him-"

A tear dropped from his eye.

"-I don't give a fuck but I want you to know, I REALLY want you to know that I spent all this time loving after your sister-"

Another fell.

"When in reality I was blind-"

He grabbed my hand as another tear fell.

"I love you Lara Jean, I love you. I want you. I need you."

He let go of my hand and pushed his tears away.

"Josh ... I ..."

"Do you know how hard it is, to loose someone you love?"

"Yeah, my mom." I said.

"It sucks." He said.

"It does." I agreed.

"I didn't do anything wrong-"

"I know." I said rubbing his back as he rested his face on the steering wheel.

"You know, when my mom died I felt so empty that I immediately wanted my dad back out there. I felt like I needed another women in my life to fill in that mother figure space I had lost but I soon realized nobody could. Right now, Margot breaking up with you is still so fresh. You guys dated for two years! She did it because she felt it was truly best Josh. You gotta believe me on that-"

He sobbed.

  And in that moment I didn't know what to say. I had nothing to say. I knew nothing about break ups. I'd never been through one, well a real one that is.

"Lara Jean?"

"Yeah, Josh?"

"Keep talking, I love listening to your voice." He said sniffling.

I laughed. "Let's go get coffee?"

"Yeah." He said smiling.

Josh's pov

I looked over at her as she sipped her coffee. She was beautiful. It was simply unfair she was Peter's but I knew if I brought up how I felt about her again I'd loose her. I wasn't scared of Peter, him? I could take but I couldn't risk loosing another Covey. Another Covey that I loved.