To All The Boys I Loved Before (sequel)

chapter [eight]

Lara Jean'a pov
  I woke up the next morning and got dressed. I knew what I needed to do today, talk to Josh. I had spent long enough thinking on my own and it was getting me nowhere. I wanted to tell Peter and knew I probably should but I feared what Peter would think. If he could trust me like that, I mean I've made such a fuss lately about him and Jen and their history that I can't even fathom what he would think when I tell him I'm going to talk to Josh. Granted, Josh isn't an ex but he's as good as one anyways.

I walked up his steps, my knees feeling like they'd buckle any minute. I knocked slowly and anxiously tried to conger up something to say but my mind was a complete blank.

Think Lara Jean. Think.

"Laura? Laura Jean!" Said Josh eagerly.
Hearing the excitement in his voice broke me, I knew he missed me and honestly, I missed him too.

Before I could stop myself I found myself hugging him tightly, he embraced the hug and held me close. I couldn't explain what made me do it but I knew I needed it. I didn't think it would be this hard to the adjustment of not having Josh in my life. I never wanted things to get so complicated between us, before I loved Josh he was my best friend. Not having him around anymore and having him cut off completely was breaking me in more ways than I realized.

"Josh, I-" I said pulling away.

"Do you want to come in?" He interrupted.

"Yeah. I'd love that."

"What did you come here for? Not that I'm not thrilled to see you because I am. I really am." He said sweetly.

"Josh, I.. you know this is really hard for me to say but I need you. I need you in my life and I cut you off so easily before because it's what I thought needed to be done." I said truthfully.

It was silent.

"It wasn't right to cut me off." He finally said breaking the silence.

"It wasn't." I agreed.

"But I can't say I don't understand, I'm sure Peter isn't thrilled about me and don't worry, I'm not thrilled of him."
I laughed.

"But you thrill me Laura Jean and loosing you was harder than loosing Margo."

I could feel my eyes widen as he said those last words.

"I'm sorry Laura Jean but it's true. You were my best friend. We were inseparable and dating Margo tainted our friendship, I shouldn't had been so eager to date her but I was desperate and I figured nothing would ever happen between us. We were so close I never wanted to ruin that." He confessed.

"So you dated my sister?" I asked confused.

"It was like the next best thing, Laura Jean 2.0" he joked.

"Shut up!" I said laughing.

And it felt good to be there, with him. We stayed talking in his kitchen while he made us breakfast. After that we watched Sunday morning cartoons just like we did when we were kids and for a minute I wished, I wished it could stay like this and maybe it could. Maybe Peter could be understanding of my friendship with Josh but I would be lying if I didn't say sitting here with him made me feel gitty. I looked over at his brown hair and soft skin, his smile was perfect. He was still the same Josh i've known all my life; just a little older.

(a/n: wow a year later and i finally updated. lol. an update is an update at least.)