The Bad Boy Likes Me?

Chapter 19: My absolute idiot of a brother.

A million thoughts were swarming around in my head.

Aiden was in a gang. A GANG.

How long had this been going on for?

How was Stacey involved?

Has my brother ever killed someone?

That last thought made my tears flow down uncontrollably in full force and I didn't once turn back to look at Nixon.

I knew well enough that he wouldn't follow me into my house and would eventually drive home. I made a mental note to text him once I got inside to reassure him about my freak out. I knew he would be worrying about me but I didn't want to talk to him about anything until I processed things and calmed down.

But there was one question which was etched in my mind more than the rest.

Should I confront my brother about it?

Reaching the front door, I took a deep breath wiping some of the tears with my sleeve. Composing myself, I made my way inside and headed straight upstairs to my bedroom in hopes of avoiding Carla. That was something I did not want to deal with right now.

Throwing my bag and jacket onto the floor I took out my cell phone. It was only then I realised that my hands were shaking. Taking a deep breath, I typed.

Hey. I'm really sorry about my little freak out in the car. Please don't worry about me, I'm okay. I promise I will explain as soon as I can. Mara x

Hitting send I threw my phone down on the bed and ran both my hands through my hair, taking a deep sigh.

Walking to my full length mirror I examined my tear streaked face. My eyes were all red and puffy I looked like something from a horror film. The shrilling noise of my ringtone startled me and I knew it was Nixon. My heart ached to pick up but I knew he would ask me questions that I wasn't ready to answer.

Once the ringing stopped I got a text alert.

Please pick up and talk to me. If I did something wrong tell me so I can fix it. P.S I always worry.

My heart ached even more reading Nixon's text. I could feel the tears threatening to come back. He was so good to me and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to be in his embrace. To feel safe and in my happy place. But I knew that I wasn't ready to talk.

Ignoring my phone I laid down on my bed staring up at the ceiling. My feelings were a pool of mess. What was I supposed to think? When you hear the word gang you can't help but ultimately think of the worst. I mean, the literal definition of the word gang is 'an organised group of criminals'.

Criminals.

I couldn't help but let my mind wander about what type of activities my brother has been involved in. I know from Nixon that by force from Rick, he deals drugs for them. Drugs would just be the beginning right? I dread to think about what else they get up to. Part of me really wanted to stay oblivious but the other part needed to know.

My thoughts drifted to Stacey. Is that why my brother has stuck around with her? Because she's in the gang with him?

Anybody with a working pair of eyes can see what a flirt she is. She leeches onto anything with man parts. It's so clear that there's no loyalty to my brother. Not to mention how she treats me like dog poop. Maybe that's why Aiden is so blinded to the way she is with me.

Aside from the obvious hurt and anger, I mostly felt shock. My older brother, practically my twin, the same boy I grew up with, the one I looked up to and love to pieces is a gang member. I felt betrayed, as if I didn't know who he was anymore. Do I still see him the same? Would I still be the same around him?