What am I?

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My color is black swirled with a blinding white to make you mesmerized so you'll never forget me. Something that's gained, but never truly lost, only covered up. I'm the thing that keeps you up at night with thoughts of harm on your mind, the thing that tells you, you can never be happy. I'm the sinking feeling in your chest when you have to act like everything's fine and dandy even though you're crying and begging for help on the inside. I'm the reason why you lack motivation, I'm the reason you're always so tired, the reason you don't sleep or eat, or eat and sleep too much. I'm a monster with a mask that has my claws in your heart and head, and I'm never letting you go. What am I?

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