Steve - Sacrifice

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A/N: (I'm so sorry I haven't updated for such a long time. School's been kicking my ass). ANYWAY WE'RE SO CLOSE TO 10K IM- OMG AHSJSKDJ THANK YOU SO MUCH. The song above pretty much explains the emotions in this one, so feel free to listen as you read it! Hope you like it ❤️
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Steve walks with heaviness in each of the footsteps he takes. As he walks home from the Avengers Tower (because you both decided to get a house in Brooklyn, just for Steve's old times' sake), he thinks of the things he's going to have to say to you.

He frowns, watching his boots hit the wet road. It rained just a couple of minutes ago, and he's lucky that you didn't come get him, even when you insisted that it was fine.

He needs the time to think about what he's about to say, and how it'll affect you. It pains him to an unbearable extent, knowing that after tonight - after he leaves home - he's not coming back.

He feels a vibration from his pocket, and decides against opening it, no matter how much he wants to. He wants to know if you're the one who texted, and he wonders about how worried you must be, knowing that he's supposed to be home ages ago.

Looking around the familiar neighborhood, he takes a deep breath, blinking back the tears in his eyes.

He thinks about not telling you at all, and how you might be better off not knowing. Shaking his head, he dismisses the thought, feeling extremely selfish for ever thinking that.

You deserve to know.

You wait for your fiancé's arrival, staring at the clock on the wall in front of you and not paying any attention to the movie playing on the TV just below it.

He promised to come home before dinner, but it's three hours past.

You hear the front door being unlocked and knowing that Steve's the only one with the spare key, you feel yourself grinning and rushing to the door.

When he sees your eyes and your breathtaking smile, he has to force himself to smile back, even when he feels his heart sinking as he imagines tears forming in your eyes and that beautiful smile of yours turn into a frown.

Acknowledging the fact that he's going to be the one who breaks your heart, he furrows his brows and uses every inch of his being to restrain himself from just pulling you into him and protecting you from the world - and from his inevitable doom. He takes a shaky breath, successfully preventing himself from breaking down in front of you.

If anyone is supposed to be strong, it's him. It's always worse for the ones left behind than the ones who leave.

"What happened?" you ask as soon as you see the shift in his expression. "Did something-"

He pulls you in close, breathing in your scent and hoping that he'll be able to remember it when he's out there. His hand goes to the small of your back as he nuzzles his nose into your hair.

"What's wrong, hun?" you ask again, wrapping your arms around him in a comforting hug as you feel him relax under your touch. You hear him sniffle and feel him gripping your (it's actually his) shirt.

"I'm so sorry, doll," he whispers into your ear, pressing a kiss on your hair before choking back a sob. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" You feel his body shake against yours as he tries to catch his breath. "Talk to me, baby."

"I have to go out there," he cries, pulling you in even closer, not wanting to let go. "I don't wanna go, doll. We just got this place and still have a whole marriage to plan, and-" he pulls away slightly, looking into your eyes with his bloodshot ones. "And I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, and I'm sorry I can't do that. I'm so fucking sorry," he continues, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Then..." you pause, holding back your own tears. "We should make the most of your last night." You kiss his lips ever so softly, and he melts into the kiss.

"I..." he starts, wiping away his tears just as new ones fall. "I'm so sorry," he repeats. "I'm so sorry that I have to go. I'm sorry that I'm a self-sacrificing bastard. I'm sorry that I can't-" he swallows the lump in his throat, before continuing,"I can't give you the world."

"Steve, listen to me," you tell him as he brushes a tear off your face with his thumb. "I don't want the world," you say, your eyes pleading him so he'll understand what you mean. "I want you," you confess. "I only want you, Steve. I don't need the world when I have you," you pause, taking a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, kissing the palm of your hand. "I'm sorry I can't be here."

"You shouldn't be," you tilt his chin up to meet your eyes, as he was looking at his shoes for a few moments. "It's your choice that you want to save the world. It..." you look up to the ceiling, pursing your lips in an attempt not to cry. "It's fucked up that it has to be you," you state, blinking away tears. "But you're so brave, hun. I'm so proud of you."

Truth be told, you've known it all along. From when Thor told you about the fact that Thanos wants the life of 'God's Most Righteous Man' in exchange of the rest of the world, you've been preparing yourself.

But obviously, you can't prepare for the death of the love of your life, even if you're given forever.

It's not fair, and it never will be.

To the rest of the world, it's an easy pick. Of course they'll sacrifice Captain America, and you would too, if it wasn't for the fact that he is your world.

And to lose your world while saving others' is just unfair, but you know that somehow, you'll be okay. You'll have to be, anyway.
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Part 2?

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