A Twist of Fate (Dhoombros included) under MAJOR editing

A Dare to Hope

Days passed by, and my grief was invisible to others. I flew back to Houston, with Rehan, and continued on with life, only occasionally pausing for a second, reminding myself of what I was, now.

Truly alone.

I had Rehan with me, but was that enough?

Everyone had truly failed me, even Rehan, and truth be told, I had failed many as well. Was I ever going to have happiness, love? Would I ever, ever, find that love?

Was Rehan just pitying me? 

These questions prodded me as I distanced myself from everyone, continuously. I wouldn't talk, I wouldn't sleep.  I wouldn't eat.

I was broken. I went to work, smiled at little children, telling that they would be okay, when in reality, I was certain two of them wouldn't make it to the end of the week. It was Tuesday, if they remained alive by Friday, it would truly be a miracle. But I had stopped believing in miracles, so I prepared myself for their shortcomings. 

Sophia was a premature twin and her vital organs were shutting down. Joseph was a six year old who was suffering from cystic fibrosis had gained an infection, effectively stopping his lungs from taking air. 

Sophia's mom and uncle were in an unspeakable pain, whereas Joseph was an orphan. 

Izhar and Zeenat were both trying to fight for something, anything to hold on to. However, what Izhar didn't know was that Zeenat was finding other ways to comfort herself. 

Other people. Other men. 

I waited around in the call room, doing my charts and getting constant updates from the nurses and continuously checking up on both children. 

After agonizing hours of waiting and trying to comfort the family, the time came when one could no longer fight to stay alive. Sophia's family stood around her as she took her last breaths in the incubator. Her father had abandoned her, her mother and his brother the only thing she had left as a family, yet even that would soon break as she took her last breaths. Her hands trembled as she let out a shiver and closed her eyes for one last time. 

I saw Izhar release a breath and close his eyes tightly. I kept my lips from trembling as I pronounced the time of death, and left the room to give the family some privacy. I went back into the call room and shut the door, leaning my back against it and releasing a breath I didn't know I had held for so long. 

Before I knew it, my shift was over and I could finally go home. 

Grief had taken over, but I strived to escape from the dangerous clutches of depression. They said that once you hit rock bottom, the only way was to go back up. But every time I thought I hit rock bottom with my thoughts, there was always something left for me to get worse. I had pushed everyone away, and although Rehan tried to talk to me, incessantly, I couldn't for the life of me let him in. I knew I trusted him but something had always stopped me from talking to him. Perhaps it was the now old memories that floated up every time I saw him trying to talk. Or perhaps, I just didn't want anyone holding me up anymore. Everyone I had loved was taken away from me or left; for once, I just needed to be myself, void of anyone that I had to lose. After I had moved back to Houston, I lost contact with my father. He had tried calling but I didn't pick up, fearing any sort of connection to anyone.

My thoughts were broken by the sudden ringing of the doorbell. Rehan was home, and although I waited for him to get it, the insistent ringing told me he had either fallen asleep or was too busy. With a resignation of some sort, I walked to the door wrapping a shawl around my figure, and flung the door open.