Just. Survive. Somehow.

Introducing me, Faith Lewison.

Hi, I'm Faith and I'm 19 years of age. Yes that's actually my name. No I didn't pick it.
Anyway, I've always been the "glass half empty" kinda girl. The type to seek something more and live life hard or die young trying. This story is not a cheesy romance, no great big reveal, just reality. This was the raw truth about love. 
Love makes the entire world go round, that's the truth. And it's also the tragedy.
Lukas was my love, lust, pain and everything in between.
Sadly, I had no idea that love even existed before this.

You see, my 'Mother' if you could even call her that, I usually call her 'egg donor' because that's the only thing she has ever given me. I know what you are thinking... life is the biggest and most valuable thing that someone could be given. However, she was the epitome of a wasted life. Drugs; alcohol, prostitution, you name it, she has done it or I have at least experienced it first hand. 

After basically being rejected at birth, my Mum never held me not even once. You know when a child is born, the first cry is usually the sign of everything good to come. Not mine...my first cry was a cry for help. I genuinely blame her for my lack of emotions and the emptiness which made a gaping hole in my heart.

I just wanted to be loved. For once in my life, I dreamt to be held...held like someone actually wanted me in their presence.  I desperately desired to understand what having an actual family would be like.  

It just wasn't normal for a 18 year old girl to fantasise about having a Mother who cared enough to ask how her day was, or even to be certain of who my Father was. I sometimes wondered what it would be like to have even a sibling to argue with about why they are wearing my clothes without asking. 

This just was not the life I pictured having.