until the end; narry

Chapter 48

Im glad Lou's coming home, Zayn forgave me, Dani is forgave me, Liam and i have no beef, i have this promotion thing and last but not least, i might decide to stop cutting! everything is going great. it was getting really late. " Night." i popped my body into Zayn's door way. he was brushing his hair, as usual. " Goodnight." he said back still looking in the mirror. i walked to my room and stopped. i tapped the dresser starring at the blood stained razor. " dont do it Ni." i mumbled to myself as i tear my eyes away from the dresser and to my bed that was waiting for me. i gladly accepted its welcome and pulled the blanket over me when i got in. i didn't close my eyes until i saw Zayn turn off his light and go to sleep. If he doesn't sleep, i dont. im a pretty deep sleeper. what if someone breaks in. and i dont hear? i heard him shift. i close my eyes.

My thoughts came again. i woke up and ran to the dresser. i sighed and take up the razor. i stand in front of the mirror and make a short cut. i groan in pain. i did it over and over again. this time my hand couldn't stop. like it was programmed or stuck on replay. like i was suicidal. i yelled for help but Zayn was asleep and it started to hurt horribly. it was cutting in the same place. by now, blood was on the floor drowning my hands and shirt and my arms. i screamed in pain as i felt the sharp tip slice in my vein.

i jumped out of bed. " ow." i mumbled getting off the floor. i ran to the mirror and felt my stomach and sighed in relief. i bit my lip look at my feet. i grabbed my socks and pulled them on as i headed across the hall. Zayn was sleeping peacefully laying on his stomach. i quietly walked to the opposite side the bed. i saw the way his face was inside the pillow which made it look like a baby face. aw. his cheeks were so puffy. i chewed my lip and climbed in beside him wiping a tear off my face. i pulled the cover over me looking at him. i wipe my red eyes and lay my head on the pillow. i faced him. i lightly kissed his cheek. he lightly groaned in a faded way. i smiled. his eyes shot open. his brown orbs getting wide. he sat up. " Niall what the hell are you doing!?" i kept quiet. " Were you crying?" he asked before i gave my excuse. i shook my head as a tear fell. i hid my face under the cover. he pulled it away from me. " Why are you crying?" he laid down. " i had a bad dream-" i stopped myself. " About what? it had to be bad if you ran in here to sleep with me." he said with no joking humor. " i-i couldn't st-stop cutting myself." i mumble. " What are you talking about?" he said as he sat up.

i look at his eyes. i lifted my shirt.

" Niall remember what i said about me doing this with you didn't you already kiss m-" his breath was caught in his throat. his eyes froze on my lower torso. he reached his hand out slowly but pulled it back. " When. why?" i told him when and why. " Aw." he whined and jumped on me with a hug. "  why didn't you come to me!?" he whined which i thought was very adorable. " i thought I'd disturb the only time you had with Perrie." i said shamefully.

" Bros before hoes-well she's not a hoe. She's an angel with quit a vocabulary-right this is about you. but pals before gals buddy. you can come to me any time to talk. you know that." i looked at the clock. " Yeah but i didn't want to wake you judging by the time right now." i said. i thought he was sighing. " Zayn." i said. his back moved up and down in rhythm. He's sleeping on me. not across not away but on!!

my heart skipped a few beats. i have always wanted this moment since the time i tried teaching him to dance. i pulled the blanket over him and i and closed my eyes.

hiiyyiiiyyyeee!! Ziall moment for ya.

VOTE ADDD TO LIBRARY AND FOLLOW. IF YOU VOTE AND FOLLOW YOU'LL GET A FOLLOW. CHECK OUT MY OTHER STORIES AND DO THE SAME.

XOXO-ZENDAYA