Mask of Celibacy: A Multimedia Novella

20 ¦ Magnetism

While we were watching The Empire Strikes Back, Eric had stealthily drawn a fraction nearer to me. I hadn't even noticed until the scene when Han kissed Leia for the first time.

Casting a sideways glance at Eric, I realized his knee was now pressed against the left side of the beanbag. Because of his long legs, he still remained a polite distance away, his palms cupping his shins.

So close, and yet so far away.

What would it be like to kiss him?

Enough! You've only known him for what? Five minutes?

I've known him for weeks now. Okay, I only met him today, but--

So? You never wanted to kiss Bryan. Or anyone. Get a grip!

This is...different.

That realization made a jolt of adrenaline surge through me, followed by a cascade of tingles. A rushing sensation. Warm, fuzzy, and comfy like relaxing in a warm bath after hours in the freezing cold. And it was spreading all over my body.

I nestled further into Eric's beanbag, causing a soft rustling of beads. And I could have sworn that I detected the tiniest hint of extra pressure from his knee against the chair.

Just the thought of him sitting close enough to touch me but deciding to stay a gentleman made my head spin.

What does this mean? Am I really asexual?

Don't be silly. Infatuation doesn't negate asexuality.

What is it, though?

Romantic attraction, dummy.

It's too soon. It can't possibly be that.

Hormones? Who the hell knows?

Infatuation is sexual in nature, isn't it?

My rational mind huffed with impatience. Infatuation is chemical, but it doesn't have to be sexual. When was the last time you had a sexual thought about him?

Uh...

Exactly, now hush and let me watch the movie.

After the rolling credits, everyone got up to stretch, and Eric hit the lights. "Right, time for our usual coffee break."

"Cool Beans Café, here I come," Teddy said in a triumphant voice. 

"More like instant coffee for me, I'm afraid," Eric said as he filled the kettle in the bathroom sink.

"Aww, man!" Teddy burst out laughing. "C'mon, dude."

While the other guys were distracted hunting for snacks, I tapped Helen on the arm. 

"Hey, what's up?" she asked.

"Mind if I head back to the room real quick?" I asked in a soft whisper. "Personal issue."

She gave me a nod and a wink. "I got ya covered," she whispered. Turning to the other guys, she said, "Hey, dudes, we're going to fix up our makeup. Be back in five."

"Awww!"

"What the hell do ladies do in there for hours?" John asked with an arrogant smirk. 

"Do you really wanna know?" Helen said with a wink, prompting a quick shake of the head from a blanching Dave. Eric raised a quizzical brow like Spock. "Right, so we'll be right back."

Once we got to the room, Helen took a walk outside to give me privacy. I snuck my phone out of my bag. Already three missed calls from them. Good grief.