i love you too | choni

'i don't know who i am anymore'

Toni Topaz, serpent princess and biker chic. On the outside she was hard as nails, nothing fazed her, but that was because she had learnt to shut the feelings out. After her mother's passing she started a new life trying her hardest not to think about her knowing all the feelings of fear, guilt and grief would come flooding back. She'd done a pretty good job at this until she met Cheryl Blossom, the ferocious redhead that set her heart on fire. She came armed too, with a massive bulldozer that knocked Toni's walls right down, she felt like she could tell the girl anything and she wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Cheryl knew that Toni suffered with PTSD and knew some of her triggers, toy trucks, Mateo's favourite toy and the one had died holding, loud bangs and black pickup trucks all sent her mind into horrendous flashbacks that would leave her flailing around on the floor crying or shaking violently calling out their names begging them to come back.

It had been over a week since the serpent had endured a flashback, the last occurring when Dagwood pulled an orange pickup truck out of his toy trunk, sending her mind into a spin leaving her cowering in the corner of the room, hands covering her ears as she rocked back and forth, trying to clear her mind of her brother's lifeless body. 

The girls were laid in-between the sheets of their bed, a thin layer of sweat covering their bodies as their erratic breathing calmed, they had got used to being together all the time, feeling comfortable in each other's presence but something neither of them had got used to was the incredible orgasms that they provided each other, a new high being reached everytime. 

It was a cold autumn (fall) evening and rain was pouring, gently tapping on the window as it fell. A deep boom of thunder echoed in the room, making Toni jump, her eyes widening and pupil's dilating as it came back to her, the thunder replaying in her ears until it drowned into a high pitched ring which left her desperately covering them with her hands, she shut her eyes tight as her lip started to tremble. Holding her legs close to her chest as she shook, she felt Cheryl's hand touch her shoulder, the same way FP's had all them years ago, everything was becoming a blur, was she seventeen, being held in her girlfriends arms as she had a flashback or was she seven again, being held tightly to FP's chest as he carried her to his motorcycle. 

It must of been an hour before Toni calmed down, she was gripping onto Cheryl's body, scared of what would happen if she let go, she hadn't even noticed that the girl was singing softly in her ear.

i remember years ago

someone told me i should take 

caution when it comes to love

i did

She recognised the song through the ring in her ears, it was 'impossible' by James Arthur, Cheryl knew it was one of her girlfriend's favourite after she had nearly had a heart attack when she saw that Fifth Harmony covered it.

and you were strong and i was not

my illusion, my mistake

i was careless, i forgot

i did

Toni opened her eyes and when she saw her gorgeous girlfriend singing softly above her she knew she was safe, she wetted her lips before joining in with the song.

and now

when all is done there is nothing to say

you have gone and so effortlessly

you have won, you can go ahead tell them

tell them all i know now

shout it from the rooftops

write it on the skyline

all we had is gone now

tell them i was happy 

and my heart is broken

all my scars are open

tell them what i hoped would be

impossible

impossible

impossible

impossible

'god i'm really falling for this girl' thought the serpent as she played with the Blossom's newly trimmed red fingernails, Cheryl's arms were wrapped around her still naked body, like armour shielding he from the pain the she endured during flashbacks, subtly reminding her that she was there.

"i don't know who i am anymore" whispered Toni watching the droplets of water run down the window. "when i have flashbacks i can't tell what is real" she continued.

"Listen babe, we can get you help for this ok" she smiled before cupping her girlfriends face and bringing her in for a short, but meaningful kiss. "i care about you" she said stroking the serpents cheek with her thumb as she held her face. 

Cheryl leaned over to the beside table and grabbed the book she now knew every line of, word for word. She was kind of enjoying re-reading it, and Toni was slowly turning her into a conspiracy believer. chapter one: Diana: why did the princess die? 

 "it was Charles" mumbled her girlfriend before she drifted off into a soft slumber, the redhead continued reading until her eyes started drooping in which she removed her glasses and folded the page corner over before cuddling into Toni and falling into a deep sleep.