Winter girlfriend. h.s.

Part Five

h.s.

The day has gone by while I sit still looking ahead the window further into the nothingness that lays outside. A yawn makes me move and water my eyes. I get up from the armchair and walk towards my desk taking the paper into my left hand and continue walking towards my room. Closing the door I sigh. I close my eyes for a moment standing there all alone. The coldness of the upcoming night hit my bones like a hammer. Opening my eyes and closing the drapes of the window, I walk towards the bed. Sitting on the edge of it. Reading her code number over and over again. Like it could mean something or hide a secret. I felt intrigued about her. And the waiting wasn't a help.

The beep of the cellphone made me jump, the sudden realization that it could be news from her made me move at an incredible speed. The message indicated that she was "All packed and ready to depart her flight in 30 min". My unstable breathing became heavier and I needed some air. I open the drapes and the window letting in the almost frozen breeze of the last days of Autumn. I enter the bathroom and start the water to let it flow. The sound of it calm me. I sit on the floor on the furthest corner of the bathroom holding my knees into my chest. The need of air and warmth makes me go insane for a moment. Palpitations take over my overwhelming thoughts. Hand against my chest, breathing heavy, eyes watering and hands and feet shaking; the involuntary movements of my body makes me panic in silence. The hyperventilation causes my body to go weak and black out.

I reopen my eyes not knowing what time is it or how long I've been out. The water is still running and the shaking has stopped completely. I get up from the floor and shut the running water, I walk towards the sink and wash my face and later on I fall onto the bed without drying it. I twist and turn all night long without gaining an ounce of sleep. A much needed sleep slips away from my fingers giving no signs of coming back to me. Hours pass and the wind starts to make my body shake from the cold night. I see the need of my body to be warm yet I go against it and just close my eyes hoping to fall a sleep and failing terribly. I lay facing the ceiling and I look at the city lights reflected over it. I close my eyes and listen to the few cars crossing the streets. Fainted laughter waves travel through the air making me remember all the parties and the get together. Alcohol and illegal weed mixed with sweat and sex smell through the memory of that life. I see the sun come up slowly at the clarity of the room.

I lay there peacefully, silent and alone. The noise of the city waking up gives me the feeling of been back at home in Holmes. The busses and the cars, the muffed good mornings between bites of a bagel maybe or a zip from the cup of coffee. Mothers taking the kids to school and the man working on newspaper stand on the corner hitting on the woman who's buying a magazine even though they where both married to different people and it was a daily habit, more like an inner joke. The sounds where so familiar and the thought of what it was happening brought a soft smile to my lips.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door.

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Hello, I don't want to do this but I'll make this short. I was updating new chapters every four days but I'll turn it into weekly updates. Sorry if they are short but I promise they'll get longer. Thanks for reading.