The Unexpected

13

Family isn't supposed to define strength or unition
You hate the scars on your body because they recall dark memories
Of the terrifyingly hateful look in their eyes every time they're chasing you only to cause more damage
They tell you you're a failure
An embarrassment
An abomination
Your confidence shatters once the words are out
It'll stick with you , a small reminder for your heart and soul
How vulnerable you can become when you love someone so much
All you longed for was to feel welcomed , you needed them to stick with you at moments where all they had to do was to be your family
And even then their backs were turned on you
You trust no one
You only know paranoia and fear
You're starting to actually think you're nothing
The world is spinning and you've become a complete stranger to yourself
They have the power to destroy you
They're aware
Yet they keep doing so

As if you own a garden
And they sneak in the midnight quietness to poison the apple trees.
You have no weapon to hurt them
You'd never want to though?but why would they want to hurt you if family is supposed to define love and support?
They made vows but people died
You see and hear things but you're never allowed to speak in this house
It's a curse
When your friends notice your mood swings and constant violence
Anger at the world
They begin to worry but you'd never want to talk so you say "family matters" and change the subject
You wouldn't want to face the truth let alone share it with someone else

It consumes your energy
The fact that you don't belong there grows disappointment in your heart so quickly.

Perhaps there's nothing left because nothing was there at all? Perhaps you were too delusional and desperate for softness?
Perhaps they wanted to keep your mouth shut but seeing how incredibly capable of rising and blooming you were , what else was there except creating more scars on your body?
And when the realization hits you
You'll remain silent for a while
A million questions go through your head but all you wanna do is sleep in your comfortable bed in your dark room
But you can't go back to that house again.

And when you're finally on the verge of heartbreak , you'll blink a few times and you'll start weeping
Closing your eyes with hot tears invisibly painting your cheeks
Imagining a better world
Where it's simple and people have mercy on each other
Perhaps only there would you ever get a "family".

-Family